Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

friedpwnadge

Search for a member

friedpwnadge

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3186
  • Number of comments : 257
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About friedpwnadge : Now offering upgrades from basic bitch to premium bitch for three small payments of $19.95. And no I don't wear Gucci hoe.

friedpwnadge's page activity

Visits<b>CarlosDanger</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:32pm<b>42LifeUniverse</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 11:13pm<b>xXCIPHERXx</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:52am<b>Mernfern</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 11:27pm<b>guskta</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:23am<b>Zerizle</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 1:22am<b>ipodn1</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 3:57pm<b>titandesu</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 1:36pm<b>whatsittoyabitch</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 11:26am<b>nick2356</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 10:22am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:40pm<b>ihaveasushicat</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:15pm<b>TheViPeRisT</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:14pm<b>A_Dead_Fish32</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:11am<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 10:38pm<b>Paksenarrion</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 10:21pm<b>The_Legendary_Z</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:17pm<b>AmandaTiger</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:03pm

friedpwnadge's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of friedpwnadge's badges

friedpwnadge's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

#20553491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37061) - you deserved it (3330)

On 03/21/2013 at 9:31am - misc - by WetWalking - United States (Texas)

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML

#20551525
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44672) - you deserved it (2645)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my step-mom stole over $100 in cash from me, dumped dirty cat litter all over my clean bed sheets, and called me a whore for having a polite conversation with my boyfriend. I confronted my father about it. He told me to forgive her, because she's "on her period." FML

#20533543
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38524) - you deserved it (2333)

On 03/06/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by disgruntled stepdaughter - United States (Ohio)

Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML

#20528725
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12501) - you deserved it (71190)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:38pm - love - by douchegamer - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML

#20518703
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31651) - you deserved it (3976)

On 02/23/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I tried to give some change to a homeless man. My girlfriend pulled me away and ranted about how homeless people are all basically bastards who deserve their misfortune, and that I shouldn't give "our" money away. FML

#20506599
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28251) - you deserved it (5394)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:06pm - money - by dating a fucking psycho (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29541) - you deserved it (27391)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to do my laundry. Having no laundry bag, I put clothes in a suitcase and headed to the basement. When my roommate saw me, she burst into tears with happiness. FML

#20496887
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27624) - you deserved it (5124)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by BonGoWash - United States (New York)

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34876) - you deserved it (3051)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML

#20408937
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10196) - you deserved it (28286)

On 12/20/2012 at 1:17pm - misc - by ScoozieBooze (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

#20399736
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31995) - you deserved it (5959)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by mandybar15 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

#20165849
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27400) - you deserved it (5329)

On 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm - work - by wow @ creepy fuckers (man) - United States

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47280) - you deserved it (6006)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was conducting a meeting regarding safety concerns on my field site. While I made a comment, a client rep yelled out that women don't know construction, and that I should be acting like a proper secretary and should get my boss. I'm the Construction Manager. FML

#20161445
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24263) - you deserved it (1983)

On 11/13/2012 at 1:49am - work - by ConstructionLady (woman) - United States

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25943) - you deserved it (2091)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: