Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

friedpwnadge

Online | Search for a member

friedpwnadge

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6269
  • Number of comments : 286
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About friedpwnadge : Now offering upgrades from basic bitch to premium bitch for three small payments of $19.95. And no I don't wear Gucci hoe.

friedpwnadge's page activity

Visits<b>int15</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 10:13am<b>soulcrusher11</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:04pm<b>fighterdown</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 5:24pm<b>ImaginaryPerson</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 12:07am<b>UncleCactus</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 4:00pm<b>AMcM</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 10:16am<b>BaglMinionz</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:25pm<b>fenem</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:18pm<b>Mogo25067</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 11:36am<b>pauliegon</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 8:37am<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 5:21am<b>Iarla_ceapaire93</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:51am<b>ktpnothappening</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 2:53am<b>SuperSexyKing124</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 8:29pm<b>JuzReading</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 8:57am<b>liquifiednate</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:54pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:38pm<b>Lacalema</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 4:51am

Fucked!<b>SuperSexyKing124</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 2:30am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 2:38am<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 6:56pm<b>ana_lee_bonde</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 5:39pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 8:20pm

friedpwnadge's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of friedpwnadge's badges

friedpwnadge's favorite FMLs

Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML

#20652571
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38685) - you deserved it (13759)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by drug testing - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that I am allergic to one of the preservatives that they put in aloe. I found this out after I put some on a severe sunburn I have. Not only am I sunburned, but now I am severely itchy as well. FML

#20613229
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45585) - you deserved it (3890)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

#20604416
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48520) - you deserved it (5665)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

#20577218
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39937) - you deserved it (19500)

On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML

#20573161
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32837) - you deserved it (14141)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by nottoosmall - United States

Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML

#20572695
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43244) - you deserved it (3612)

On 04/03/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by fuck YOLO - United States (California)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67823) - you deserved it (17181)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

#20553491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38642) - you deserved it (3475)

On 03/21/2013 at 9:31am - misc - by WetWalking - United States (Texas)

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML

#20551525
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46289) - you deserved it (2762)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my step-mom stole over $100 in cash from me, dumped dirty cat litter all over my clean bed sheets, and called me a whore for having a polite conversation with my boyfriend. I confronted my father about it. He told me to forgive her, because she's "on her period." FML

#20533543
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38828) - you deserved it (2346)

On 03/06/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by disgruntled stepdaughter - United States (Ohio)

Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML

#20528725
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13284) - you deserved it (73364)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:38pm - love - by douchegamer - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML

#20518703
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32328) - you deserved it (4049)

On 02/23/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I tried to give some change to a homeless man. My girlfriend pulled me away and ranted about how homeless people are all basically bastards who deserve their misfortune, and that I shouldn't give "our" money away. FML

#20506599
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30589) - you deserved it (5660)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:06pm - money - by dating a fucking psycho (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31077) - you deserved it (28144)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to do my laundry. Having no laundry bag, I put clothes in a suitcase and headed to the basement. When my roommate saw me, she burst into tears with happiness. FML

#20496887
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29484) - you deserved it (5305)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by BonGoWash - United States (New York)



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Juliette's illustrated FML
  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: