friedkabob1225

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friedkabob1225

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 25 December 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 33400
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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friedkabob1225's page activity

Visits<b>xXGreninjaXx</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 12:14pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 6:34pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:01am<b>lizarddx0x0</b> - the 06/26/2009 at 7:10pm<b>mari0958</b> - the 06/26/2009 at 5:36pm<b>danzi5</b> - the 06/20/2009 at 12:35pm<b>indeedyes08</b> - the 05/07/2009 at 10:13pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/04/2009 at 5:01pm<b>sawabear15</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 8:54pm<b>zsorini2014</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 6:59am<b>Krystal412</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 1:00am<b>nafur15</b> - the 05/01/2009 at 10:49pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 05/01/2009 at 9:11pm<b>assman266</b> - the 05/01/2009 at 8:18pm<b>littlebumblebee</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 10:30pm

friedkabob1225's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

friedkabob1225's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going home with the tomato plant I just bought in my cup holder. The smell of it was filling the car and I love the smell so I picked it up and took a wiff. A few moments later I got pulled over. Apparantly, the cop saw me sniff it and thought I was smelling a marijuana plant. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 10:24pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 1:55pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML

by Ian / 04/18/2009 at 10:24am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I was going 73 in a 55 on a country road when an oncoming cop passed me. He pulled a U turn. I turned off the main road and took random turns. I got lost, was 30 minutes late to work, and the cop still found me and gave me two tickets. I had to ask him for directions. FML

by TheBRADLeyB / 04/16/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I took one of those IQ tests on the internet. I cheated and still got a 70. FML

by snathans / 04/13/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

by lanbon182 / 04/10/2009 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML

by schoolgrlstaci / 04/07/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was masturbating in my room when my dog started to bark obnoxiously. He does this all the time so I ignored it and kept going. This went on for about a half hour. When I went downstairs, I found an open door and an empty TV stand. FML

by trainE / 03/29/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy