friedblueoyster

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friedblueoyster

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 546
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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friedblueoyster's page activity

Visits<b>CarolMellow</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 11:18pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 11:59pm<b>fatfatgoeshome</b> - the 01/05/2010 at 2:04pm

friedblueoyster's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

friedblueoyster's favorite FMLs

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

by DutchOven / 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

by peacock_mina19 / 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous