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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27561) - you deserved it (3060)
On 12/18/2010 at 4:11am - love - by anonymous - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9862) - you deserved it (44577)
On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49247) - you deserved it (9964)
On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained that I eat too quickly and don't thoroughly chew my food. My dad exclaimed, "That's because she swallows!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (22948) - you deserved it (4051)
On 10/29/2010 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32131) - you deserved it (7945)
On 10/23/2010 at 5:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was walking home down a small street while listening to my iPod. I really got into the music, and started to dance really badly, only to realise there was a car following me, trying to get past. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5434) - you deserved it (18574)
On 10/22/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24350) - you deserved it (6998)
On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12367) - you deserved it (18646)
On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend bumped into me at McDonald's. I was sitting alone at a table with a big mac, two large fries, a large drink and 1 case of chicken nuggets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17476) - you deserved it (23540)
On 01/31/2010 at 1:44am - love - by tammy999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30539) - you deserved it (4306)
On 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36977) - you deserved it (3007)
On 11/21/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by AussieGirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8126) - you deserved it (42364)
On 10/10/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by loser - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was 'A man running'. I didn't even get an apology. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49383) - you deserved it (1687)
On 08/01/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (142278) - you deserved it (32745)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (53949) - you deserved it (4305)
On 05/14/2009 at 11:24am - kids - by TwinDad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 17 June 2013
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