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freesitter
  • Town/Country : What's it to ya, Florida, United states
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 February 1991 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 207
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About freesitter : 22, love zombies, chardonnay, Netflix, and my fiance.

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freesitter's favorite FMLs

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53524) - you deserved it (8898)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61792) - you deserved it (6193)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm expected to buy a bassinet and/or a stroller/car-seat for my nephew because my brother trusted the pullout method for contraception. FML

#20785515
150 comments

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

#20764944
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62414) - you deserved it (7360)

On 07/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML

#20628087
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51602) - you deserved it (6384)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by a tad whipped (man) - Australia

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

#20503942
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30027) - you deserved it (2496)

On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43692) - you deserved it (4210)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27407) - you deserved it (17379)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

#19231360
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22342) - you deserved it (5638)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Sharibabi65 (woman) - United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

#18815086
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21595) - you deserved it (3246)

On 01/15/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by soontobedumped (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

#18220908
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11545) - you deserved it (39192)

On 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Henry - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my mom and I heard a thump from inside the coat closet. I opened the door, and something fell on me. My mom, who was behind me, screamed, closed the laundry room door, and ran into the garage, leaving me to face the alleged attacker. It was the vacuum. FML

#17820631
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20277) - you deserved it (2124)

On 09/24/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to explain to a woman I didn't know that my husband was killed overseas. She replied, "I know exactly how you feel, my dog died last month." FML

#17793526
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40577) - you deserved it (2748)

On 09/21/2011 at 3:01am - animals - by socks - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66639) - you deserved it (6940)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML

#16933111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38407) - you deserved it (3883)

On 07/01/2011 at 5:12am - love - by single (man) - China (Guangdong)



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