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freedomna

Offline (the 02/17/2014 at 5:46pm) | Search for a member

freedomna

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  • Number of visits : 193
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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freedomna's favorite FMLs

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (195) - you deserved it (18434)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was waiting on a Canadian tourist at work, and he bought some of the most expensive stuff on the menu. I was excited about maybe getting a big tip, so I casually said that in the USA, waiters make most of our money off tips. The guy just snorted, "Sucks to be American, eh?!" and left. FML

#21127302
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37334) - you deserved it (27585)

On 04/30/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by yes, yes it does :( (woman) - United States

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

#21126864
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42330) - you deserved it (5544)

On 04/30/2014 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she's been sleeping with him. FML

#21126504
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53998) - you deserved it (3337)

On 04/29/2014 at 6:40pm - love - by loserman - United States (Texas)

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43501) - you deserved it (4975)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

#21118358
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42485) - you deserved it (4929)

On 04/20/2014 at 7:24pm - animals - by BetterThanChocolate (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML

#21118108
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43715) - you deserved it (8607)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50460) - you deserved it (4433)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25357) - you deserved it (42986)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54400) - you deserved it (5653)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I graduated from Basic Training. I was really looking forward to seeing my family after being away for almost three months. They decided not to come to graduation because they didn't want to spend the money to travel here. They live 30 minutes away. FML

#21108820
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50011) - you deserved it (3300)

On 04/09/2014 at 7:47pm - money - by CheapFamily - United States

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

#21106030
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45242) - you deserved it (3058)

On 04/06/2014 at 3:37pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

#21102694
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40151) - you deserved it (9481)

On 04/02/2014 at 7:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while on patrol with my partner, we came across a guy getting a beat-down on the sidewalk. After restraining the attacker, we helped the victim to his feet, only for him to spit at us and call us "goddamn pigs". You're welcome, sir. FML

#21101111
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40812) - you deserved it (4028)

On 03/31/2014 at 4:07pm - work - by dunno why we bother (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

#21099986
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43162) - you deserved it (6290)

On 03/30/2014 at 6:04am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Havering)



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