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fredman0000

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fredman0000

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 71
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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fredman0000's favorite FMLs

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12069) - you deserved it (55617)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33153) - you deserved it (9183)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

#18309491
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33770) - you deserved it (6895)

On 11/21/2011 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35883) - you deserved it (18851)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, I had a panic attack. Not on a crowded train, or an airplane, or in school, or any of the expected places. It was in my yoga class, which my therapist recommended for me, while I was in a dead-body position. FML

#18174225
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23531) - you deserved it (3456)

On 11/06/2011 at 12:43pm - health - by panickygrl (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

#18163240
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38897) - you deserved it (5265)

On 11/05/2011 at 9:43am - health - by rj93 - United Kingdom (Ballymena)

Today, it was my first time taking blood on the ward. The doctor saw that I was nervous and gave me a violent old man with schizophrenia who thought I was there to kill him. FML

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

#18127858
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11977) - you deserved it (55977)

On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

#17714662
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35132) - you deserved it (2800)

On 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm - health - by sadddddd (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)



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