Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

frecktured

Search for a member

frecktured

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 934
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

frecktured's page activity

Visits<b>xAceace</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 9:38pm<b>lifelikedat</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 6:37pm<b>Imacutiez</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 3:08am<b>mip_92</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:44am<b>billionair11</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:48am<b>redraven88</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 2:06pm<b>ThunderTheRad</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 12:37am<b>gingerface81</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 12:36am<b>Alvarortor</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 6:50pm<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 8:13pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 8:38pm<b>slightlyins4ne</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 5:32pm<b>Robbieisadowg</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 8:39pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 8:39pm<b>chadwj</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 11:16pm<b>thisguy22</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 4:34am<b>Aeroxx1337</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 12:56am<b>golforgtfo</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 1:23pm

frecktured's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of frecktured's badges

frecktured's favorite FMLs

Today, my Spanish teacher imitated the sound of a coffee grinder, and then said in Spanish, "OK, all of you do it." I did it, thinking everyone else would too. I was the only one in the class who'd understood the Spanish part. FML

#21121714
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41185) - you deserved it (4753)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:32am - work - by me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51494) - you deserved it (4518)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65185) - you deserved it (32623)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41422) - you deserved it (12492)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my 12-year-old daughter glued her left eyelid shut with fake eyelash glue. After spending 4 hours in the ER, I asked her why she did it. "I wanted to get Blake to notice me," she said. Blake is our neighbor's convict son. FML

Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML

#21008243
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37892) - you deserved it (6635) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2013 at 9:46am - misc - by Cacahuete (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML

#20921961
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39230) - you deserved it (2820)

On 10/15/2013 at 8:38pm - health - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

#20909568
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45106) - you deserved it (3475)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:13pm - misc - by D: (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60785) - you deserved it (5967)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52873) - you deserved it (9142)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54982) - you deserved it (7746)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68869) - you deserved it (6557)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68869) - you deserved it (6557)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57343) - you deserved it (4094)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: