frecktured

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frecktured

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2563
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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frecktured's page activity

Visits<b>justindrew14</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 5:54pm<b>tVictoria</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 2:56am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 9:20am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 11:52am<b>Supersid333</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 5:10pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 8:42pm<b>tehman117</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:57pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:45pm<b>camelotgrace</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 6:11am<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 4:32pm<b>xAceace</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 9:38pm<b>lifelikedat</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 6:37pm<b>Imacutiez</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 3:08am<b>mip_92</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:44am<b>billionair11</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:48am<b>redraven88</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 2:06pm<b>ThunderTheRad</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 12:37am<b>gingerface81</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 12:36am

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frecktured's favorite FMLs

Today, my Spanish teacher imitated the sound of a coffee grinder, and then said in Spanish, "OK, all of you do it." I did it, thinking everyone else would too. I was the only one in the class who'd understood the Spanish part. FML

by me / 04/24/2014 at 11:32am / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Idaho) / Animals

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

by Brody89 / 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, my 12-year-old daughter glued her left eyelid shut with fake eyelash glue. After spending 4 hours in the ER, I asked her why she did it. "I wanted to get Blake to notice me," she said. Blake is our neighbor's convict son. FML

by AnnoyedSister / 12/30/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML

by Cacahuete / 12/28/2013 at 9:46am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML

by erockinthesuburb / 10/15/2013 at 8:38pm / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

by D: / 10/06/2013 at 1:13pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

by zackeryburch / 08/03/2013 at 9:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

by Kat_Styles / 07/19/2013 at 4:51am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

by hamburger / 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh / 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh / 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

by imarriedanaxemurderer / 06/18/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Kids