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frecklefreak27's favorite FMLs
Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML
by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals
by moneymoneymoney / 10/08/2013 at 10:34am / United States (Florida) / Money
Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML
by thisguy / 10/08/2013 at 5:55am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/08/2013 at 3:09am / China (Shanghai) / Money
by Stheno / 09/16/2013 at 8:49am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Love
Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2013 at 1:44pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML
by heartbroken / 09/09/2013 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Love
by merpaderp14 / 09/09/2013 at 2:15am / Canada / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 7:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm / Switzerland (Bern) / Work
by /(•'_'•)\ / 09/07/2013 at 12:59pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
by ...thanks / 09/07/2013 at 10:17am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Thesuz / 09/05/2013 at 11:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML
by dear god help me. / 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work
by mother to an ugly doll / 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I laid out an exercise and diet plan for the rest of the year. Today was also the day a guy… Today, a customer bitched at me in front of her children for 10 minutes because I wouldn't open the… Today, I went for an operation. Only to walk out with my gallbladder still there and the news I am…