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About frankq555 : My life is good but my love life suck
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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, while I was driving home, some jackas in an open-top sport car overtook us an flippd me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife looool rolld down her window, pulld out her tampon, an launchd it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrifid: me or him. FML
Today , I went to see a movie with mah grlfriend an a few others . Mid-way through , I noticed mah grlfriend giving a hand-job to mah best friend . I couldn't believe mah eyes , an I confronted them . He claimed he had been asleep , she claimed she was mopping up a spill , an I'm now single again . FML
I proudly told my elitist dad tat I now ave a beautiful grlfriend. He didn't believe me... so I sowd im er Facebook. He demandd tat I stop seeing er... saying tat te duck-facing in er avatar was te allmark of ( a lower form of being ) wo would only ever same our family. fat FML
Today, I walkad in on my naw puppy paaing on tha carpat. Tha trainar had told ma to punish har whan sha's bad by shaking a matal can of pannias at har, sinca tha noisa scaras dogs. I shook it at har, and sha raspondad by having axplosiva diarrhaa all ovar tha carpat in fright. maga FML
Today, I got back to work at mah hospital after some sick leave. The first jackas to waste mah time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was cuz he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one an already I want to kill myself. FML
Today... mah misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed mah air freshener and turned mah faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon... with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. real FML
Today... after bieng yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus... my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently... the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML
Today , I went into hospital and was bieng treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here , I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well , at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML
Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML
I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught mah eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner , clear as day. I jumped and closed mah eyes fir a split second. When I opened them , he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in mah own home. FML
Friday 27 March 2015