francescadoexoxo

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Offline (the 01/24/2014 at 9:09am)

francescadoexoxo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 July 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 611
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About francescadoexoxo : Home is where the heart is.

francescadoexoxo's page activity

Visits<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 4:10pm<b>GIGA_IMPACT</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:14pm<b>zach205</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 8:59pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 11:42pm<b>JMichael</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 7:29pm<b>leary96</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 7:27pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 8:34pm<b>HersheySquirts</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 12:48pm<b>colerean</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 6:10pm<b>olpally</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 5:58pm<b>edwin1</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 12:05pm<b>thejewishfuhrer</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 10:41am<b>SwimmingBassist</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 5:08pm<b>persianninja</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 7:25am<b>TJJOE</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 12:22am<b>nightowl713</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 6:05pm<b>minimanion</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 9:16am<b>mpkpm</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 10:04am

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francescadoexoxo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

by traumatized / 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had the most intelligent conversation I've ever had with my boyfriend. He was getting really in-depth about subjects like biotechnology and gamma radiation. I soon realized he was only referring to the Incredible Hulk. FML

by cubs44fan / 03/04/2014 at 6:25pm / United States (Indiana) / Geek

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

by cockfist / 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy

Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2014 at 4:06pm / Norway (Akershus) / Love

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

by fuck you, jack / 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I left a message for a potential employer. It wasn't until after I'd hung up that I realized I'd given them their own phone number to call me back at. Not getting that job. FML

by kenzamee / 03/04/2014 at 9:39am / United States (Oregon) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I taught my 12-year-old brothers that showering cannot be used as a substitute for deodorant, and that they should use both. One of them was almost in tears. FML

by :/ / 03/04/2014 at 8:37am / Kids

Today, my driver's-side door was so frozen that the locking mechanism wouldn't move. My passenger-side door's lock worked, but the door itself wouldn't budge. The door handle on the other hand, budged quite well. It budged right off its hinges. FML

by Staying Home Today / 03/04/2014 at 7:25am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

by booksandshadows / 03/04/2014 at 4:06am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my sister told me about a website that explained why our stressed cat has been obsessively pulling out the fur on her legs. Interested, I asked for a link. Not just out of deep concern for the cat, but because I have the same problem. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2014 at 11:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

by fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU / 03/03/2014 at 5:35pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

by Biologyfacepalm / 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm / United States / Work

Today, my roommate pranked me by putting blue food coloring in the shower head. I have class in 20 minutes and look like a smurf. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2014 at 11:30am / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided it was time to tell my daughter that she had been adopted. Not only had she known for 5 years, she found out from my drunk sister. FML

by adopted / 03/03/2014 at 10:55am / United States (New York) / Kids