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foxman332

Offline (the 09/19/2014 at 12:57pm) | Search for a member

foxman332

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  • Number of visits : 89
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foxman332's favorite FMLs

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

#21008430
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40947) - you deserved it (9721)

On 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm - health - by beemove (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43011) - you deserved it (17470)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

#20924645
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45852) - you deserved it (6302)

On 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

#20924645
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45852) - you deserved it (6302)

On 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17402) - you deserved it (29779)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

#18973351
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35208) - you deserved it (3420)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

#18807759
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39708) - you deserved it (3076)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65288) - you deserved it (3139)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

#18752825
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31139) - you deserved it (7047)

On 01/09/2012 at 12:01am - intimacy - by LaLa - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML

#18452728
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31478) - you deserved it (2155)

On 12/07/2011 at 1:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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