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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (136588) - you deserved it (10964)
On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10304) - you deserved it (43489)
On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)
Today, I went to the emergency room. Apparently, when your ex-girlfriend hits you in the nuts with a bat, it can do some damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38534) - you deserved it (5471)
On 09/08/2009 at 1:29am - kids - by FAIL (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47746) - you deserved it (2175)
On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I decided I would finally get up and weed our front yard. After a long couple of hours, I was hot and sweaty and decided to jump in the pool, with all my clothes on, just for fun. Right as I was in the air doing a cannon ball, my BlackBerry started to ring from my pocket... FML
I agree, your life sucks (11067) - you deserved it (39196)
On 09/07/2009 at 1:32pm - money - by ByeByeBlackberry (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mum grounded me for going to my boyfriend's house instead of the library. She said my boyfriend's mum phoned up because she could hear us having it off in his room. When I denied it my mum shouted at me for being a liar as well as a slut. I did go to the library. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66751) - you deserved it (381)
On 09/07/2009 at 11:39am - love - by SingleGirl (woman) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45349) - you deserved it (6399)
On 09/07/2009 at 9:32am - love - by GasAttack (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got annoyed with my mum stopping in her tracks each time she needed to reply to a text message. I tried to show her that you can walk and text at the same time. I ended up falling into a drain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6768) - you deserved it (43404)
On 09/07/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by misstree (woman) - Singapore
Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57076) - you deserved it (4573)
On 09/07/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by BoredRunner42 - United States (California)
Today, at my girlfriend's place I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was "uggg I have to clean all this up". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33596) - you deserved it (3612)
On 09/07/2009 at 2:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was getting changed in front of my room mate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16247) - you deserved it (40880)
On 09/07/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by EyesOffMe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8478) - you deserved it (31235)
On 09/06/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I met some of my boyfriend's family for the first time. His aunt said I was really cute, which made me happy. As we were leaving I said "Your aunt thought I was cute." His reply..."Yeah, well, my aunt's on drugs". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36478) - you deserved it (2868)
On 09/06/2009 at 5:33pm - love - by me (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27936) - you deserved it (8282)
On 09/06/2009 at 5:09pm - misc - by M.L. (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was fired from my job. I was a lifeguard and the other day a 30 year old man who only spoke spanish hit on me. I'm 16 and politely rejected him. He then went to the front desk and told them how I tried molesting him in the locker room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37625) - you deserved it (1515)
On 09/06/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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