About forsoosh : If you bite my lip or neck, you better start taking your clothes off.. Just sayin..
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Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23944) - you deserved it (3035)
On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13939) - you deserved it (25291)
On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19332) - you deserved it (38490)
Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15006) - you deserved it (44124)
On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)
Today, my friends and I noticed that people, no matter what stereotype, pretty much all have the same type of friends: the mean one, the funny one, etc... and started naming off the people in our group who fit into those personallities. We got to the token fat one, everyone looked at me and stopped talking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26372) - you deserved it (7395)
On 10/01/2009 at 5:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my friend decided to come clean to his parents about his pot usage. He told them that he did it with me on many occasions. His parents decided it would be the right thing to call my parents. Thanks a lot asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22897) - you deserved it (46178)
On 06/24/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by jerk (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24596) - you deserved it (48788)
On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14204) - you deserved it (46381)
On 05/05/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Friday 24 May 2013
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