Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

forlifebro

Search for a member

forlifebro

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 July 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1297
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About forlifebro : 12" Tall 16lb's light brown. Living the pug life baby

forlifebro's page activity

Visits<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 7:48pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 10:25pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 3:34pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 2:02pm<b>klm2purple</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 1:06am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 12:11am<b>Istah</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 3:21am<b>equitationbound</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 4:20am<b>MichellinMan</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 11:54am<b>mesutozil11</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 10:17pm<b>Mackay92</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 5:33pm<b>specialist8404</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 9:22pm<b>Zephyrrr</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 1:10am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 12:47am<b>Redthetrainer</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 8:21pm<b>adrianramz69</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 11:33pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 11:56pm<b>SoliDSt33L</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 5:16pm

forlifebro's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of forlifebro's badges

forlifebro's favorite FMLs

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41504) - you deserved it (7857) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, my girlfriend informed me that our relationship is an open one. This was only after I was told that when she was "stuck in traffic" two days ago, she was actually playing the triple-X version of Twister in my "best friend's" bed. FML

#21008373
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39820) - you deserved it (2959)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I diagnosed a patient with a spastic colon. For some reason, the term "spastic colon" has always amused me, and I burst into uncontrollable laughter as I said it. By the time I managed to stop laughing, my eyes were watering and my patient was visibly angry. FML

#21002747
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20891) - you deserved it (43318)

On 12/23/2013 at 6:11pm - work - by dr immature (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

#21001530
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38196) - you deserved it (3850)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm - kids - by bastard (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48167) - you deserved it (4773)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

#20999316
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42532) - you deserved it (2502)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by nopissleft (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38956) - you deserved it (4379)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML

#20996748
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44049) - you deserved it (4711)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:56am - misc - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

#20993322
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35019) - you deserved it (3034)

On 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by ANONYMOUS -_- (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

#20989324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50260) - you deserved it (7995)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53572) - you deserved it (3374)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52929) - you deserved it (2922)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46509) - you deserved it (5120)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML

#20977212
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39098) - you deserved it (3779)

On 12/01/2013 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I reduced my psychologist to tears. FML

#20976567
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41900) - you deserved it (3915)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: