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forlifebro

Offline (the 08/27/2014 at 6:29am) | Search for a member

forlifebro

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 July 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1579
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About forlifebro : 12" Tall 16lb's light brown. Living the pug life baby

forlifebro's page activity

Visits<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 7:48pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 10:25pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 3:34pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 2:02pm<b>klm2purple</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 1:06am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 12:11am<b>Istah</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 3:21am<b>equitationbound</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 4:20am<b>MichellinMan</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 11:54am<b>mesutozil11</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 10:17pm<b>Mackay92</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 5:33pm<b>specialist8404</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 9:22pm<b>Zephyrrr</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 1:10am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 12:47am<b>Redthetrainer</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 8:21pm<b>adrianramz69</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 11:33pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 11:56pm<b>SoliDSt33L</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 5:16pm

forlifebro's FML badges

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forlifebro's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41846) - you deserved it (3931)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

#21067583
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45924) - you deserved it (5305)

On 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49003) - you deserved it (3948)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at my therapy appointment, I was spilling my guts to my therapist. When I'd finished, to get rid of the awkward silence, I asked, "I'm not crazy, right?" His response was, "That's bit of a loaded question." FML

#21066990
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34390) - you deserved it (5266)

On 02/20/2014 at 9:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML

#21066977
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34008) - you deserved it (6583)

On 02/20/2014 at 9:31pm - work - by management - United States

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

#21066497
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43671) - you deserved it (4681)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by begging for air - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I went to pick up my goddaughter while her mother went to work. She was being fussy, and I was surprised when she was quiet in the car; I just figured she'd fallen asleep. I got to my house and realized I'd never put her in my car, she was still sitting in my friend's driveway. FML

#21062639
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18980) - you deserved it (43961)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:44pm - kids - by lyss - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46305) - you deserved it (6548)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31517) - you deserved it (47620)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41550) - you deserved it (21604)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41051) - you deserved it (3808)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

#21047394
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38504) - you deserved it (3932)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm - work - by TwistedCherub1 (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49733) - you deserved it (6231)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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