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forgotenemo7's FML badges
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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
forgotenemo7's favorite FMLs
Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML
by Anonymous / 02/19/2013 at 1:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
by Notaplacetogo / 02/17/2013 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
by Drewbie / 01/13/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML
by wetsheets / 01/07/2013 at 8:01am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
by _The__Doctor_ / 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Intimacy
by dudeyouarefired / 12/20/2012 at 3:16am / Miscellaneous
Today, I took a bath because I couldn't get my left arm wet due to a minor medical procedure. My roommates decided to barge in to the bathroom and ruthlessly pelt me with flour. Not only did I find out flour burns the eyes, but the shock caused me to slip and submerge my arm. FML
by antiqued / 12/20/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Health
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
by djl / 12/20/2012 at 12:30am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by idontevenlikebuttsthatmuch / 12/18/2012 at 4:44pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
by poopsthegame / 12/03/2012 at 2:36am / United States (Hawaii) / Transportation
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
by Z / 11/26/2012 at 5:26am / Australia / Miscellaneous
- Today, I found out my hours at work were getting cut and given to another employee. Not only are my… Today, one of my coworkers was told to empty the clothes dryer and put in more tea towels. I know… Today, I met the man of my dreams. Hot, funny, smart, sensitive, he guesses at what I need before I…