Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

forestqueenie

Search for a member

forestqueenie
  • Town/Country : Hawthorne, U.S of fucking A.
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 November 1989 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 1906
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About forestqueenie : I'm simply fucking amazing

ANGEL CITY BRIGADE

forestqueenie's last visitors

peacelovecoffeeS4ssyK4tElle_ShellBelleBano360imsosleepycolhyenaCaptainPickles72Meixpr

forestqueenie's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

forestqueenie's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a museum that had exhibits of wax people in the hallways. We were taking pictures of what we thought to be a waxwork old lady. Turns out she was real. FML

#13138405
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14663) - you deserved it (6553)

On 09/21/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by yourmom - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML

#13118537
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11216) - you deserved it (28770)

On 09/19/2010 at 8:07pm - misc - by whitefox123 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

#13097397
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14020) - you deserved it (17435)

On 09/18/2010 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, I was talking to my crush on MSN. She was telling me how her friend had passed away recently. I had two chats open and accidentally replied, "That's hilarious." FML

#12887848
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13812) - you deserved it (25283)

On 09/03/2010 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML

#12832697
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30475) - you deserved it (5035)

On 08/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML

#12826740
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7792) - you deserved it (32101)

On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

#12803986
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24866) - you deserved it (5130)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:37am - intimacy - by bkay26 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35558) - you deserved it (9660)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

#12626936
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7319) - you deserved it (58514)

On 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by captainocd - United States (Texas)

Today, mine and my boyfriend's concerns that we are too loud in bed were definitely confirmed when his entire family stopped the movie they were watching and vacated the cinema room located directly below us. They returned and resumed a while after we were finished. FML

#12622107
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5357) - you deserved it (21899)

On 08/19/2010 at 7:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML

#12552368
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37111) - you deserved it (3321)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

#12051058
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29466) - you deserved it (13428)

On 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, while lifeguarding, I saw someone in the wave-pool who appeared to be drowning. So, I jumped in to attempt to save him. Turns out he wasn't drowning, he only had one arm. He yelled at me. FML

#12042807
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25581) - you deserved it (3327)

On 07/22/2010 at 10:48am - work - by GuardOtto - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20664) - you deserved it (37512)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I decided to try and seduce my boyfriend of 2 years. He was on his laptop, and while he was on it I took off my shirt and bra, and gave him a hug from behind. What I didn't know was that he was video chatting his father the whole time. FML

#11911406
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17176) - you deserved it (37923)

On 07/16/2010 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: