About forestqueenie : I'm simply fucking amazing
ANGEL CITY BRIGADE
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31448) - you deserved it (6360)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7092) - you deserved it (19140)
On 10/16/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by meegs (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to see Jackass 3 in 3D. While the previews were playing, some guy sitting next to me leaned over and began telling me what happens in every scene, completely ruining the movie for me. He tried to get my number afterwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23614) - you deserved it (3100)
On 10/16/2010 at 9:14am - misc - by dcait_1196 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26319) - you deserved it (4936)
On 10/16/2010 at 8:31am - love - by married - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22264) - you deserved it (2587)
On 10/16/2010 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I went to class with my bag packed for a weekend trip when it began to vibrate violently. Stopping mid-lecture, the professor approached me and asked politely if I could turn off my cell phone as I was disturbing the other 150 pupils in the class. It was my personal vibrator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7838) - you deserved it (34895)
On 10/15/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17445) - you deserved it (11034)
On 10/13/2010 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16262) - you deserved it (13702)
On 10/13/2010 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Abused (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38031) - you deserved it (6146)
On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States
Today, after my marching band's performance, the girls had to change out of our uniforms in a very dark school bathroom. Someone turned on the lights and I realized that more than a dozen roaches had crawled into my skinny jeans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25474) - you deserved it (2210)
On 10/10/2010 at 4:45am - misc - by toazt - United States (Arizona)
Today, after my marching band's performance, the girls had to change out of our uniforms in a very dark school bathroom. Someone turned on the lights and I realized that more than a dozen roaches had crawled into my skinny jeans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25474) - you deserved it (2210)
On 10/10/2010 at 4:45am - misc - by toazt - United States (Arizona)
Today, after weeks of thinking and playing every outcome possible in my head, I told my parents I'm gay. My dad nodded and didn't even look up from his book; my mom told me to go to the doctor if it starts to itch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27525) - you deserved it (7395)
On 10/09/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24300) - you deserved it (6983)
On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22269) - you deserved it (3883)
On 10/08/2010 at 11:29pm - intimacy - by mster233 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said: "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26778) - you deserved it (2319)
On 10/06/2010 at 4:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Monday 20 May 2013
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