Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

forestqueenie

Search for a member

forestqueenie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 November 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3289
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About forestqueenie : I'm simply fucking amazing

ANGEL CITY BRIGADE

forestqueenie's page activity

Visits<b>kittylies</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:16am<b>epic174</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:43pm<b>Juicenub</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 8:17am<b>squidgy1234</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 9:46pm<b>xxButtersxx</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:47pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 8:57pm<b>mza418</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 9:54pm<b>happy_giraffe</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 10:26am<b>thatunfortunateg</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 6:10pm<b>skuii</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 12:27am<b>LissaMccracken</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 2:29am<b>NourHYK</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 4:23pm<b>dantee2005</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 9:34am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 9:09am<b>Durisbane</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 1:55am<b>Clever58</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 1:22am<b>madiemac06</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 12:59pm<b>lyssgross</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 11:11pm

forestqueenie's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

forestqueenie's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38050) - you deserved it (7991)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML

#13476444
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9506) - you deserved it (27658)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by meegs (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to see Jackass 3 in 3D. While the previews were playing, some guy sitting next to me leaned over and began telling me what happens in every scene, completely ruining the movie for me. He tried to get my number afterwards. FML

#13470194
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29395) - you deserved it (3887)

On 10/16/2010 at 9:14am - misc - by dcait_1196 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

#13469972
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32944) - you deserved it (6428)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31am - love - by married (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML

#13466592
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28226) - you deserved it (3527)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to class with my bag packed for a weekend trip when it began to vibrate violently. Stopping mid-lecture, the professor approached me and asked politely if I could turn off my cell phone as I was disturbing the other 150 pupils in the class. It was my personal vibrator. FML

#13462188
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9939) - you deserved it (41136)

On 10/15/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML

#13439536
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22636) - you deserved it (15680)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

#13431073
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21397) - you deserved it (18361)

On 10/13/2010 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Abused (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45361) - you deserved it (8169)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, after my marching band's performance, the girls had to change out of our uniforms in a very dark school bathroom. Someone turned on the lights and I realized that more than a dozen roaches had crawled into my skinny jeans. FML

#13389421
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31774) - you deserved it (3037)

On 10/10/2010 at 4:45am - misc - by toazt - United States (Arizona)

Today, after my marching band's performance, the girls had to change out of our uniforms in a very dark school bathroom. Someone turned on the lights and I realized that more than a dozen roaches had crawled into my skinny jeans. FML

#13389421
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31774) - you deserved it (3037)

On 10/10/2010 at 4:45am - misc - by toazt - United States (Arizona)

Today, after weeks of thinking and playing every outcome possible in my head, I told my parents I'm gay. My dad nodded and didn't even look up from his book; my mom told me to go to the doctor if it starts to itch. FML

#13374619
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34136) - you deserved it (8323)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29867) - you deserved it (8954)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML

#13372336
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27852) - you deserved it (5073)

On 10/08/2010 at 11:29pm - intimacy - by mster233 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said: "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML

#13339943
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32821) - you deserved it (3192)

On 10/06/2010 at 4:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: