Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

foreeverwhat

Offline (the 02/17/2015 at 3:23am) | Search for a member

foreeverwhat

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8634
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About foreeverwhat : Hey I'm Dani, if you wanna know more about me message me :)

foreeverwhat's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 6:55pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 2:38pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 9:24pm<b>chanelleyy</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 8:05am<b>Patty410</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 9:00pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 6:27pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 8:24pm<b>Ambient25</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 6:53pm<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 8:16am

foreeverwhat's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of foreeverwhat's badges

foreeverwhat's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML

#20090890
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25551) - you deserved it (1835)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML

#20090730
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19844) - you deserved it (7371)

On 09/27/2012 at 7:37am - misc - by red (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML

#20090653
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19400) - you deserved it (1394)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:19am - misc - by Creeped - United States

Today, I started a job on a building site. Halfway through, I needed to use the toilet. One of the builders said there were two of them; one was "OK" and the other was "nasty." The first one I walked into had the foulest stench imaginable. Apparently, that was the "OK" one. FML

#20090541
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19006) - you deserved it (1532)

On 09/27/2012 at 1:22am - work - by theotherotherguy (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML

Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML

#20089382
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8264) - you deserved it (31675)

On 09/26/2012 at 10:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML

#20089247
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19818) - you deserved it (1553)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by dontrapeme - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML

#20089229
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19122) - you deserved it (2386)

On 09/26/2012 at 5:06am - love - by Popscene (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML

#20089025
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30176) - you deserved it (1728)

On 09/26/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ahappypenguin -

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

#20088535
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21530) - you deserved it (1489)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML

#20088451
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23287) - you deserved it (2588)

On 09/25/2012 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML

#20088350
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29871) - you deserved it (1621)

On 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by burn in hell (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML

#20088123
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29801) - you deserved it (4665)

On 09/25/2012 at 1:42pm - intimacy - by orgasmsareoverratedanyway (woman) - Norway (Nordland)

Today, after meeting my girlfriend's family and trying my hardest to impress them, she told me that they came up with a nickname for me. My new name is "Matt the Doormat." FML

#20087864
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17548) - you deserved it (2721)

On 09/25/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by oreoblizzard619 (man) - United States

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

#20087243
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15704) - you deserved it (29406)

On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States



Caroline Maerten's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #1: Valentine's Day
  • It's a brand new Valentine's day, so here's a brand new blog section. Yep, you read that right, we're using the fact that Valentine's day is vaguely a controversial…

Friday 13 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: