Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

foreeverwhat

Offline (the 03/13/2015 at 6:38pm) | Search for a member

foreeverwhat

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9527
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About foreeverwhat : Hey I'm Dani, if you wanna know more about me message me :)

foreeverwhat's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 6:55pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 2:38pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 9:24pm<b>chanelleyy</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 8:05am<b>Patty410</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 9:00pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 6:27pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 8:24pm<b>Ambient25</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 6:53pm<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 8:16am

foreeverwhat's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of foreeverwhat's badges

foreeverwhat's favorite FMLs

Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML

#20093027
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26706) - you deserved it (2098)

On 09/29/2012 at 12:08am - health - by cedechan (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

#20092519
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12101) - you deserved it (44949)

On 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34247) - you deserved it (6818)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, while working security at a welfare office, I had to listen as a claimant gushed about her upcoming Caribbean cruise. I work two jobs and haven't had a vacation since 2006. FML

#20092291
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24826) - you deserved it (1772)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by getajob (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out why my teenage daughter won't brush her teeth properly. Apparently my son convinced her that toothpaste has tons of calories. FML

#20092131
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22894) - you deserved it (2270)

On 09/28/2012 at 10:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

#20091945
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33983) - you deserved it (2511)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States

Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML

#20091853
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29205) - you deserved it (2213)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:34am - health - by red_headforlife - United States (Arizona)

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25266) - you deserved it (3383)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML

#20091625
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17419) - you deserved it (26756)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband of five years left me for a woman ten years older than himself who lives nine hours away. He met her online two weeks ago while playing Call of Duty. FML

#20091576
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30264) - you deserved it (2292)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:14pm - love - by strawberrywine22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother texted me that she was in labor. She never told me she was pregnant. Apparently she's engaged too. FML

#20091458
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26162) - you deserved it (1958)

On 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to sing at karaoke. I sang a romantic love ballad to him. He dedicated Rick James' "Super Freak" to me. FML

#20091434
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15633) - you deserved it (4638)

On 09/27/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by MB101 (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend of a month has a new girlfriend. That girl is my cousin, the same one who's been listening to my tears fall as I've confided my feelings to her for the past few weeks. FML

#20091337
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26952) - you deserved it (2212)

On 09/27/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

#20091141
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36140) - you deserved it (2649)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML

#20091024
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16608) - you deserved it (5587)

On 09/27/2012 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuck you, dad (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)



FML's blog

  • Sidonie's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! In this week's edition, some pedalos, some kittens, a bunch of gypsy singers, some ponytails, a crooner, a house that looks like Hitler, a joke about George W. Bush's cocaine habit and a brilliant…

Thursday 19 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: