Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fordfan89

Search for a member

fordfan89
  • Town/Country : Pa, And a little redneck
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 April 1987 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 129
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

fordfan89's last visitors

Success4444Pentium_4

fordfan89's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of fordfan89's badges

fordfan89's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

#21116600
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27610) - you deserved it (33804)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by say no to dick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML

#21113376
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35644) - you deserved it (5983)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:24am - misc - by heycutie - United States (Michigan)

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

#21106752
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18330) - you deserved it (41199)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

#21082683
187 comments

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35811) - you deserved it (14230)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

#21077048
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55600) - you deserved it (6879)

On 03/03/2014 at 5:35pm - intimacy - by fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

#21042040
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20516) - you deserved it (54281)

On 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by :( (man) - Algeria

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

#21034458
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24674) - you deserved it (38404)

On 01/20/2014 at 10:34pm - kids - by Ginger_Gawd - United States (Florida)

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

#21032373
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40827) - you deserved it (5608)

On 01/19/2014 at 12:17am - kids - by MommyProblems (woman) - United States

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

Today, I came home a little earlier than usual, only to walk in on my dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from my mom's mouth. FML

#20822450
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47651) - you deserved it (4305)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by NO NO NO (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I woke up with a half-shaved head, thanks to the friends I let crash at my place last night. I have work in an hour and a half, and they hid my hair clippers. FML

#20793566
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33185) - you deserved it (3758)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:47am - work - by Eisenhorn (man) - United States

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

#20792109
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47189) - you deserved it (23099)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML

#20791582
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46150) - you deserved it (2608)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:29am - misc - by the unfortunate man - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went on a blind date and we seemed to have hit it off nicely. I asked him if he could drive me home. Along the way he stopped on a pitch-black road and told me to get out so he could take a picture. He then gave me my bag and drove off, leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere. FML



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: