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fooltemptress

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fooltemptress

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4682
  • Number of comments : 110
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fooltemptress : Jack of all trades; master of none, with a penchant for writing and all things snark. I also do costume design, acting, and some occasional directing. I love animals and foster dogs when I can. I have Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy, a disease similar to Multiple Sclerosis, and Fibromyalgia. I'm generally friendly so feel free to message me if you ever want to chat :)

fooltemptress's page activity

Visits<b>Journiexo</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 3:12pm<b>wecca875</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 12:54pm<b>justkeez</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 1:31pm<b>VHNox</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 10:40pm<b>xNotCreative</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 5:27am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 4:39am<b>theoneknownasjp</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 4:21am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 4:16am<b>nick_brock5</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 6:58pm<b>Earrings100</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:33am<b>6dandaman5</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 6:33pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 12:21am<b>whosittoyou</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 6:18am<b>woainishamu</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 2:38am<b>pumboc</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 6:36am<b>Ricko_Ram</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 11:29pm<b>PacosTacos21</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 2:29am<b>vb68</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:32pm

fooltemptress's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

See all of fooltemptress's badges

fooltemptress's favorite FMLs

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5677) - you deserved it (8733)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom got genuinely angry at me because I refused to let her pop a zit that I had "promised" she could pop a few days back. She said with utmost look of disappointment that I'm "not a man of my word". FML

#21267417
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20425) - you deserved it (3258)

On 09/29/2014 at 12:31am - misc - by SystemofaBlink41 (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I came home to a half-shaved dog and a laughing third grader. FML

#21267339
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21678) - you deserved it (2327)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:00pm - kids - by Anonymoose - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22753) - you deserved it (2564)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30477) - you deserved it (3130)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I saw my boyfriend wiping his nose with his hand and then using the snot to gel back his hair. FML

#21263839
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34187) - you deserved it (4097)

On 09/23/2014 at 2:04pm - love - by danceinconverse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's the first day of fall. It's also the day that over 20 people have made jokes about my name being "Autumn" like they're the funniest, most original people alive. It's not even 8 am. This is going to be a long day. FML

#21263689
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30086) - you deserved it (2841)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, coming home from a trip in the mountains, I got a cracked radiator and my car overheated. My dad came to get me, he drove my car and I followed in his. I got pulled over and ticketed for his expired registration. FML

#21263040
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31812) - you deserved it (2951)

On 09/22/2014 at 10:25am - misc - by willconqueror1 - United States

Today, I learned that even though a woman has a baby carriage and seems friendly, she won't be afraid to mug you in front of her kid. FML

#21262985
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33575) - you deserved it (2855)

On 09/22/2014 at 6:58am - health - by deathstar3548 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21262395
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32138) - you deserved it (7058)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:33am - intimacy - by royallymessedup - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35263) - you deserved it (9171)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

#21262000
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33235) - you deserved it (2380)

On 09/20/2014 at 7:39pm - misc - by rabid_otaku - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38322) - you deserved it (3542)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33879) - you deserved it (4372)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39796) - you deserved it (4297)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)



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