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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14884
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fooltemptress : Jack of all trades; master of none, with a penchant for writing and all things snark.

I like to fuck! No, seriously, if you visit my profile, I'll visit yours and give you a fuck. Does that make me a whore?

Insert whatever other witty banter you'd like to see here.

fooltemptress's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 12:31am<b>KeatonHanson</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 8:28pm<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 4:07am<b>lunar999</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 3:38am<b>beastiness</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 9:20am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 12:31am<b>smoothies14</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 12:29am<b>tiger820</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 9:15pm<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 7:42pm<b>Boxer3421</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 5:19pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 9:54am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 5:53pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 2:22am<b>chris_mates</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 5:52pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:12am<b>Ahaddad123</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 11:57am<b>people_really</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 11:00pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 6:03am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 6:31am<b>tiger820</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 3:15am<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 1:43am<b>people_really</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 5:00am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:23am<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 7:42am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 4:21pm<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:22pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 8:14am<b>morondon000</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 6:13pm<b>anonymous1604</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 2:31am<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 6:41pm<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 4:36am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 6:23pm<b>EMOHATE</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 3:45am<b>bigjake</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 5:55am<b>907frostygirl</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 7:58pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 9:53pm

fooltemptress's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of fooltemptress's badges

fooltemptress's favorite FMLs

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

by EvilBubbles / 01/08/2015 at 10:45pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML

by rimenrezon / 01/06/2015 at 9:10am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML

by Dear Lord Save Me / 01/03/2015 at 10:56pm / United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML

by thanks a lot mom / 12/28/2014 at 1:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store. Before I knew what was happening, he'd sniffed me and started whimpering about how I don't smell like I used to. He does this kind of crazy shit all the time. FML

by GOAWAY / 12/26/2014 at 6:06pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

by whovian / 12/25/2014 at 10:17am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML

by wowdadreally / 12/23/2014 at 3:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent a quarter of an hour trying to figure out why my car wouldn't unlock, then why my number plate had changed. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2014 at 11:27am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

by ScottyB / 12/22/2014 at 3:05am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML

by financially_wreckd / 12/20/2014 at 7:53pm / Money

Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML

by embarrassed / 12/19/2014 at 2:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) / 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

by monster in law. / 12/17/2014 at 2:35am / United States / Love

Today, someone backed straight into my car as I was hunting for a parking spot. I just got my car back from the body shop after a hit-and-run. FML

by shit_fer_luck / 12/16/2014 at 11:35am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML

by thechaos / 12/15/2014 at 5:24pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy