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fooltemptress

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fooltemptress

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4051
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About fooltemptress : Jack of all trades; master of none, with a penchant for writing and all things snark. I also do costume design, acting, and some occasional directing. I love animals and foster dogs when I can. I have Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy, a disease similar to Multiple Sclerosis, and Fibromyalgia. I'm generally friendly so feel free to message me if you ever want to chat :)

fooltemptress's page activity

Visits<b>wecca875</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 12:54pm<b>justkeez</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 1:31pm<b>VHNox</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 10:40pm<b>xNotCreative</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 5:27am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 4:39am<b>theoneknownasjp</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 4:21am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 4:16am<b>nick_brock5</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 6:58pm<b>Earrings100</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:33am<b>6dandaman5</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 6:33pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 12:21am<b>whosittoyou</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 6:18am<b>woainishamu</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 2:38am<b>pumboc</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 6:36am<b>Ricko_Ram</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 11:29pm<b>PacosTacos21</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 2:29am<b>vb68</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:32pm<b>melons</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:18pm

fooltemptress's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

See all of fooltemptress's badges

fooltemptress's favorite FMLs

Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

#21225439
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19573) - you deserved it (2188)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

#21224768
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26514) - you deserved it (2744)

On 07/30/2014 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by WasntWorthIt - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML

#21224521
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29659) - you deserved it (3194)

On 07/30/2014 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, the left side of my head has officially declared its independence. Half of my hair is now curly, the rest is totally flat. FML

#21224614
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28188) - you deserved it (2854) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/30/2014 at 2:51am - misc - by anonyme - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

#21224311
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26091) - you deserved it (4452)

On 07/29/2014 at 11:49pm - work - by dealtit - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

#21224233
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28776) - you deserved it (4748)

On 07/29/2014 at 10:36pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my mom why nobody likes me. She reeled off about a dozen reasons. FML

#21223790
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30307) - you deserved it (6955)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "he died" and walked away. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She reminded me I was at the funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML

#21223464
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17235) - you deserved it (51020)

On 07/29/2014 at 3:58am - misc - by jayswizzle89 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I almost passed out choking in front of my friends, because I was laughing too hard at my own pathetic joke while eating. FML

Today, I met someone who works in radio advertising. Making conversation, I described an ad that I can't stand. He wrote it. FML

#21222884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32256) - you deserved it (7622)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:16am - work - by Scotty (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML

#21222137
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38475) - you deserved it (3853)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by Yeppets (woman) - United States

Today, I have really painful pimples on my upper lip. I'm a professional trombonist, and every note causes excruciating pain. FML

#21220657
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34881) - you deserved it (4306)

On 07/25/2014 at 10:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got expelled from school. I was walking down a flight of stairs when I tripped and bumped into a kid ahead of me by mistake. He fell forward and took half a dozen people down with him. The staff think I did it on purpose, and there's talk of charges being pressed. FML

#21220439
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42274) - you deserved it (3596)

On 07/25/2014 at 4:19pm - misc - by asshalf15 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML

#21219985
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17160) - you deserved it (44969)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:05am - animals - by fuckendog (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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