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fooltemptress

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fooltemptress

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5396
  • Number of comments : 112
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fooltemptress : Jack of all trades; master of none, with a penchant for writing and all things snark.

Insert whatever other witty banter you'd like to see here.

fooltemptress's page activity

Visits<b>itsmecutiepie</b> - 3 hours ago<b>leahb99</b> - 11 hours ago<b>omgbrainZ</b> - yesterday at 9:34pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - yesterday at 8:13pm<b>lefsetang</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 11:17pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 8:55pm<b>nick_brock5</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 7:17pm<b>spencer4148</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 5:05am<b>RetroLife</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 6:58am<b>JuzReading</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 5:32am<b>chevythunderz71</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:35am<b>kasey216</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 8:52pm<b>Nathan_h24</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 3:33pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 6:05am<b>annapanda143</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 2:21am<b>lil_miss_simran</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 7:30pm<b>sneakybabymaker</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:37pm<b>Cristian89</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 10:26am

Liked!<b>annapanda143</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 8:21am<b>moksha</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:44pm<b>nick_brock5</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:16am

fooltemptress's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

See all of fooltemptress's badges

fooltemptress's favorite FMLs

Today, I slipped on a wet floor at the supermarket and busted my nose. It wouldn't be as embarrassing if I hadn't missed the "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" sign that I'd put there myself just 30 minutes earlier. FML

#21302796
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21600) - you deserved it (6359)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:45pm - health - by fark (woman) - Ireland

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25721) - you deserved it (2942)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML

#21300014
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21395) - you deserved it (3429)

On 11/16/2014 at 3:35am - health - by FlyLikeABird - United States (California)

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

#21298452
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39775) - you deserved it (2983)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

#21296102
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34167) - you deserved it (4890)

On 11/10/2014 at 9:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, like usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML

#21295699
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29901) - you deserved it (6198)

On 11/09/2014 at 8:12pm - animals - by dogdays (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that when you're talking about your girlfriend's 6'4", 250 lb dad in a negative way, you should really make sure he isn't around first. FML

#21295068
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17685) - you deserved it (34228)

On 11/08/2014 at 10:38pm - misc - by jlong9071 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after I found him cheating on me with my best friend. It ended up with me apologising for spying on him. FML

#21293948
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32764) - you deserved it (15379)

On 11/07/2014 at 7:28am - love - by Turnaround (woman) -

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML

#21293843
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32432) - you deserved it (2854)

On 11/07/2014 at 12:47am - health - by jj - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36020) - you deserved it (2401)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out it is possible to get whiplash and a concussion from a tickle fight you have with your boyfriend. FML

#21292929
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26850) - you deserved it (3533)

On 11/05/2014 at 7:48pm - health - by cjhgvb - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

#21290313
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35235) - you deserved it (3131)

On 11/02/2014 at 6:28am - health - by smellyhair - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

#21289746
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34496) - you deserved it (4705)

On 11/01/2014 at 2:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized why the lady I had complimented the night before on Halloween about her amazing one-armed costume, looked so hurt. She is literally missing an arm. I'm an asshole. FML

#21289586
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32935) - you deserved it (12201)

On 11/01/2014 at 8:58am - misc - by That Guy - United States (Florida)



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