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fooltemptress

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fooltemptress

11Liked!

fooltemptressfooltemptress
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6010
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fooltemptress : Jack of all trades; master of none, with a penchant for writing and all things snark.

I like to fuck! No, seriously, if you visit my profile, I'll visit yours and give you a fuck. Does that make me a whore?

Insert whatever other witty banter you'd like to see here.

fooltemptress's page activity

Visits<b>shibeep</b> - 20 hours ago<b>hardesty</b> - yesterday at 9:49pm<b>bigjake</b> - yesterday at 9:59am<b>danibugg</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 3:30am<b>madi113</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:07pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:39pm<b>lumisokaisi</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:13am<b>morondon000</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 11:48pm<b>907frostygirl</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 1:58pm<b>Alicestraza</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:50am<b>flupsht</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 6:49pm<b>thinblue32</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 6:23pm<b>lunar999</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 8:22am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 11:48pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 4:20pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 3:59pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 12:31pm<b>Austrand22</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 11:47am

Liked!<b>bigjake</b> - yesterday at 5:55am<b>hardesty</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:43am<b>907frostygirl</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 7:58pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 9:53pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 6:25pm<b>watermelon15</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 11:00am<b>tiptoe55</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 4:26pm<b>GodPart2</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:52am<b>annapanda143</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 8:21am<b>moksha</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:44pm<b>nick_brock5</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:16am

fooltemptress's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

See all of fooltemptress's badges

fooltemptress's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

#21319149
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21548) - you deserved it (4051)

On 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm - misc - by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23922) - you deserved it (2144)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

Today, someone backed straight into my car as I was hunting for a parking spot. I just got my car back from the body shop after a hit-and-run. FML

#21318499
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25114) - you deserved it (1818)

On 12/16/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by shit_fer_luck (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML

#21318050
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24896) - you deserved it (2623)

On 12/15/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by thechaos (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML

#21316246
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26274) - you deserved it (6526)

On 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm - work - by driven_crazy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

#21316125
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25828) - you deserved it (2230)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:15am - kids - by Che_likes_you - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after he received a text with a bunch of hearts on it. After arguing, turns out it was from me. FML

#21316114
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13744) - you deserved it (34443)

On 12/12/2014 at 9:39am - misc - by well, now what - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I thought it'd be fun to kick open one of those unisex bathrooms in my workplace. I'm not sure who was more surprised, me or my boss who was in there taking a dump. FML

#21315499
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13101) - you deserved it (32889)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:26am - work - by unlucky (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

#21312961
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20258) - you deserved it (32667)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:10am - misc - by .__. (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML

#21311373
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29801) - you deserved it (12659)

On 12/04/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by Red (man) -

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42015) - you deserved it (10636)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28221) - you deserved it (2767)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that customers at my work ask me "Are you new or just stupid?" just as often as they did when I first started. FML

#21305199
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27357) - you deserved it (7094)

On 11/24/2014 at 2:21pm - work - by stupid - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I accidentally called my boss 'mom'. Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML

#21304319
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30158) - you deserved it (3706)

On 11/23/2014 at 3:31am - work - by naladetet - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned that if life gives you lemons, your sister is going to squeeze them over your face while you take a nap on the couch. FML

#21303546
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27209) - you deserved it (1952)

On 11/21/2014 at 9:00pm - misc - by ShutUp007 - United States (Minnesota)



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