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foodfood3

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foodfood3's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my 5 year old son has more money saved up in his piggy bank than I have in my actual bank account. FML

#20962344
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47464) - you deserved it (9269)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14pm - money - by poorman - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46998) - you deserved it (4070)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to an over-crowded grocery store. As I reached the front of a long line, I noticed that a cart had been abandoned in everybody's way. Trying to be helpful, I moved it to the side. An enormous woman then shoved me and yelled at me for "pushing her property around." FML

#20953468
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34688) - you deserved it (2946)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by PainStressLife - United States (California)

Today, while working at Chipotle, a teenage girl asked in all seriousness if she "could have a steak burrito, but with like, chicken instead?" FML

#20951236
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42593) - you deserved it (3489)

On 11/09/2013 at 9:15am - work - by fmylyfe (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mother not only told me that my ex-husband will be spending Thanksgiving with her and my dad, but that I'm also no longer invited to spend the holiday with my family. FML

#20950805
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47108) - you deserved it (3886)

On 11/08/2013 at 9:54pm - misc - by zoe777 (woman) - United States

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43583) - you deserved it (3268)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a public restroom when my almost-2-year-old figured out how to open the door and run out. Half-a-dozen strangers watched me scramble to pull up my pants and moon everyone before running after her. FML

#20948920
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41228) - you deserved it (3885)

On 11/07/2013 at 10:23am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42560) - you deserved it (3854)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

#20946588
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37902) - you deserved it (3328)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by :/ (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43229) - you deserved it (5249)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my brother and I got into an intense argument that ended up with us trading blows and having the cops called on us. Apparently I was "insulting his intelligence" by trying to explain that you don't make buttermilk by putting butter in milk. He's 18. FML

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41732) - you deserved it (8759)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, someone in my 8-floor appartment building got an airhorn. They seem to enjoy using it. I can't work out where they are. FML

#20919926
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35946) - you deserved it (2740)

On 10/14/2013 at 9:10am - misc - by STOPTHENOISE (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML

#20871364
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61330) - you deserved it (3572)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by brycepetrillo - United States (Florida)

Today, I have to get an ultrasound at the hospital. In order to get a clear picture, I need to have a full bladder. I've been waiting my turn for 2 hours now, desperately needing to pee. There are still multiple patients ahead of me. FML

#20851161
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41530) - you deserved it (2707)

On 08/23/2013 at 5:58pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico



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