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foREVerOrNever

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foREVerOrNever
  • Town/Country : Texas, U.S.A.
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1433
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About foREVerOrNever : "Human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted." - Aldous Huxley

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foREVerOrNever's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

#20002813
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29793) - you deserved it (1428)

On 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by m - United States (Indiana)

Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

#20001841
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16098) - you deserved it (4823)

On 08/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by MAC. - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML

#19999762
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24230) - you deserved it (1842)

On 08/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by SingleAgain (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML

#19998370
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17016) - you deserved it (1348)

On 08/02/2012 at 12:30pm - misc - by skrillexblewme - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML

#19964000
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21526) - you deserved it (2916)

On 07/20/2012 at 2:23pm - love - by Taylor (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML

#19950706
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15868) - you deserved it (1219)

On 07/17/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML

#19949441
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19852) - you deserved it (4739)

On 07/17/2012 at 9:54am - health - by Anonymous - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML

#19948855
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4749) - you deserved it (13479)

On 07/17/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML

#19918441
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6324) - you deserved it (25342)

On 07/10/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by mustanggt (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25493) - you deserved it (4239)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML

#19846175
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25057) - you deserved it (2006)

On 06/25/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by thinkimquitting (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

#19841077
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24135) - you deserved it (2720)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17924) - you deserved it (1108)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML

#19828397
271 comments


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