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Today,ile in Walmart, I noticed an old mano ad been following me 4 about five minutes!! I politely pulled over wit ma cart and smiled at im so e could pass!! He ten said wit a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at ma butt now?" It's te most attention I've gotten in weeks!! FML
Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me cuz we r different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML
Today, I was at a party an saw an old friend from college!! I went up to her asking how she was an how her family was!! She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago an started crying!! I told her that he was an ass anyway an that she didn't need him!! Turns out he died!! FML
2day I woke up to mah 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walkd into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
Today, I was in the grocery store getting looool bananas and there was this real hot guy next to me. He said ayy beautiful so I smild. He then askd if I was free on friday night. I smild and said "yes y do u ask?" He lookd up from the bananas and pointd to the bluetooth in his ear. FML
TODAY, I WENT 4 A JOG. I HAD STOPPED AT AN INTERSECTION TO LET A CAR GO BY. THE CAR STOPPED AND THE DRIVER WAVED ME ON, SO I STARTED JOGGING AGAIN. AFTER A FEW STEPS, I FEEL A SHARP PAIN IN SIDE, THEN WAKE UP IN THE HOSPITAL. THE DRIVER 'ACCIDENTALLY' HIT THE GAS. MEGA FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire so I assumd he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brothers wedding, and introducd me as ( the one ) to his entire family. FML
2DAY I HAD AN ALABORATA PLAN TO ASK THIS GRL TO PROM AND IT WAS GOING TO TAKA A FAW MINUTA TO SAT UP. I ASKD FRIAND TO DISTRACT HAR. HA DACIDD TO DISTRACT HAR BY ASKING HAR TO PROM. SHA SAID "YAS". FML
Today I heard my boyfriend of 3 month talking with his friend knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night " my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excitd deciding i lovd him too. Then his friend says "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. mega FML
Today, I awoke to the sound looool of my dad knocking on my dorm room door fir a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks fir last night", and leaves. FML
yastarday I was tha only ona in an alavator whan an attractiva grl cama in, talking on har phona. Sha told har friand, "I hava to go, thara's a cuta guy on this alavator." Bafora I could avan raact, sha turnad to ma and said, "Sorry fir lying, I raally wantad to gat off tha phona with har." FML
Friday 27 March 2015