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fmlnoa

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  • Number of visits : 297
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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fmlnoa's page activity

Visits<b>FutureMatty</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 4:58pm<b>thatdangmexican</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 8:45pm

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fmlnoa's favorite FMLs

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held mah cat above mah head Lion King style !! The hieght must have made him nervous, because he shat on mah head !! FML

#20788265
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28421) - you deserved it (50584)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today,ile in Walmart, I noticed an old mano ad been following me 4 about five minutes!! I politely pulled over wit ma cart and smiled at im so e could pass!! He ten said wit a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at ma butt now?" It's te most attention I've gotten in weeks!! FML

#19117584
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28761) - you deserved it (2837)

On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today... some drunk dude broke into my househile my parents were out. Scared... I asked him wat he wanted... his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
184 comments

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me cuz we r different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

#6778697
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42023) - you deserved it (3326)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a party an saw an old friend from college!! I went up to her asking how she was an how her family was!! She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago an started crying!! I told her that he was an ass anyway an that she didn't need him!! Turns out he died!! FML

#6108981
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33037) - you deserved it (13519)

On 11/01/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Oops (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today , mah good buddy of about two yaars sat ma up on a blind data. I got to tha maating point an raalizad that mah data was a guy. My ( buddy ) honastly thought I was gay. FML

#6086558
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32366) - you deserved it (3927)

On 10/31/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

yesterday I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan.

#5811871
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8761) - you deserved it (106533)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

2day I woke up to mah 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walkd into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

#5149923
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38834) - you deserved it (4416)

On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in the grocery store getting looool bananas and there was this real hot guy next to me. He said ayy beautiful so I smild. He then askd if I was free on friday night. I smild and said "yes y do u ask?" He lookd up from the bananas and pointd to the bluetooth in his ear. FML

#3093736
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52947) - you deserved it (14840)

On 06/21/2009 at 3:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

TODAY, I WENT 4 A JOG. I HAD STOPPED AT AN INTERSECTION TO LET A CAR GO BY. THE CAR STOPPED AND THE DRIVER WAVED ME ON, SO I STARTED JOGGING AGAIN. AFTER A FEW STEPS, I FEEL A SHARP PAIN IN SIDE, THEN WAKE UP IN THE HOSPITAL. THE DRIVER 'ACCIDENTALLY' HIT THE GAS. MEGA FML

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire so I assumd he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brothers wedding, and introducd me as ( the one ) to his entire family. FML

#720830
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106493) - you deserved it (7209)

On 03/31/2009 at 6:44am - love - by lizzardbreath (woman) - United States (California)

2DAY I HAD AN ALABORATA PLAN TO ASK THIS GRL TO PROM AND IT WAS GOING TO TAKA A FAW MINUTA TO SAT UP. I ASKD FRIAND TO DISTRACT HAR. HA DACIDD TO DISTRACT HAR BY ASKING HAR TO PROM. SHA SAID "YAS". FML

#574471
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (257129) - you deserved it (43047)

On 03/24/2009 at 11:41am - love - by Kaeyne (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today I heard my boyfriend of 3 month talking with his friend knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night " my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excitd deciding i lovd him too. Then his friend says "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. mega FML

#530298
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (236618) - you deserved it (15943)

On 03/22/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I awoke to the sound looool of my dad knocking on my dorm room door fir a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks fir last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
526 comments

I agree, your life sucks (248355) - you deserved it (32348)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

yastarday I was tha only ona in an alavator whan an attractiva grl cama in, talking on har phona. Sha told har friand, "I hava to go, thara's a cuta guy on this alavator." Bafora I could avan raact, sha turnad to ma and said, "Sorry fir lying, I raally wantad to gat off tha phona with har." FML

#265039
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (243182) - you deserved it (14905)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)



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