fmljw

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fmljw

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4307
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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fmljw's page activity

Visits<b>facelick</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 4:36am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:09pm<b>am4bnaby</b> - the 03/12/2010 at 2:25am<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/30/2009 at 11:38pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 09/30/2009 at 7:26pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 2:36am<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 6:53pm<b>Tifoxendine</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 3:16pm<b>dreybaybay</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 12:40pm<b>robear</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 10:26pm

fmljw's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

fmljw's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

by anugla / 08/18/2009 at 1:02am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I was wearing my favorite tube top to the mall when a girl walked up and said, "I have that exact same skirt, why are you wearing it as a top?" I've been wearing it for two years, and no one's bothered to tell me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 7:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, there was a 10-minute cloudburst. It started 30 seconds after I parked my car and ended 30 seconds after I arrived at the office. Now the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and I look like I took a shower fully clothed. Oh, and I'm wearing thin white pants. FML

by Soaked / 07/31/2009 at 1:21pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML

by fedexed / 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my auto-repairman told me my heavy mass of keys was bad for the ignition switch and suggested I separate my house and car keys. I began to carry my car keys and lock the house keys in my glovebox. My car was stolen. I now have car keys but no car and a house with no house key. FML

by LockedOut / 07/24/2009 at 8:55pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend told my roommate about a trick he had used by filling nail holes with toothpaste when he moved out. When I came home with putty to fill the holes, there were blue spots all over the walls. She had filled them with blue gel toothpaste. Now I get to repaint, too. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2009 at 6:14pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML

by whyme_ss / 07/20/2009 at 4:05pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

by joe1234 / 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my friend's beautiful wedding. The only other single girl there was 5 years old. She caught the bouquet. FML

by StillSingle / 06/29/2009 at 2:14pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2009 at 9:32am / Singapore / Kids

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

by NotSoYoung / 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

by NotSoYoung / 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

by Shaun / 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, my left-handed boss needed PC help. I said "right-click for the menu." She said nothing happened. Three times we went through this. Eventually I went over, asking her to show me what she did. She was using her right hand on the left mouse button. She earns £10,000 more than me. FML

by girlfriday / 06/11/2009 at 11:21am / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

by apav / 06/11/2009 at 7:52am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work