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fmljw

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4087
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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fmljw's page activity

Visits<b>facelick</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 4:36am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:09pm<b>am4bnaby</b> - the 03/12/2010 at 2:25am<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/30/2009 at 11:38pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 09/30/2009 at 7:26pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 2:36am<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 6:53pm<b>Tifoxendine</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 3:16pm<b>dreybaybay</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 12:40pm<b>robear</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 10:26pm

fmljw's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

fmljw's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

#4618349
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52667) - you deserved it (18393)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - animals - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was wearing my favorite tube top to the mall when a girl walked up and said, "I have that exact same skirt, why are you wearing it as a top?" I've been wearing it for two years, and no one's bothered to tell me. FML

#4290695
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15970) - you deserved it (48876)

On 08/04/2009 at 7:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, there was a 10-minute cloudburst. It started 30 seconds after I parked my car and ended 30 seconds after I arrived at the office. Now the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and I look like I took a shower fully clothed. Oh, and I'm wearing thin white pants. FML

#4181864
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43506) - you deserved it (7586)

On 07/31/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by Soaked (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my auto-repairman told me my heavy mass of keys was bad for the ignition switch and suggested I separate my house and car keys. I began to carry my car keys and lock the house keys in my glovebox. My car was stolen. I now have car keys but no car and a house with no house key. FML

#4014904
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34275) - you deserved it (13802)

On 07/24/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by LockedOut (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend told my roommate about a trick he had used by filling nail holes with toothpaste when he moved out. When I came home with putty to fill the holes, there were blue spots all over the walls. She had filled them with blue gel toothpaste. Now I get to repaint, too. FML

#4011609
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37290) - you deserved it (3551)

On 07/24/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML

#3908348
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37182) - you deserved it (25461)

On 07/20/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by whyme_ss - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

#3816010
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46098) - you deserved it (9325)

On 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by joe1234 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to my friend's beautiful wedding. The only other single girl there was 5 years old. She caught the bouquet. FML

#3335931
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48446) - you deserved it (4711)

On 06/29/2009 at 2:14pm - love - by StillSingle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML

#3115220
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58240) - you deserved it (6836)

On 06/22/2009 at 9:32am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

#2966896
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30221) - you deserved it (67818)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

#2966896
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30221) - you deserved it (67818)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

#2925389
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84852) - you deserved it (5871)

On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my left-handed boss needed PC help. I said "right-click for the menu." She said nothing happened. Three times we went through this. Eventually I went over, asking her to show me what she did. She was using her right hand on the left mouse button. She earns £10,000 more than me. FML

#2798980
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62159) - you deserved it (3281)

On 06/11/2009 at 11:21am - work - by girlfriday (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82645) - you deserved it (23335)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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