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fmljw

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 3870
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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fmljw's page activity

Visits<b>facelick</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 4:36am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:09pm<b>am4bnaby</b> - the 03/12/2010 at 2:25am<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/30/2009 at 11:38pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 09/30/2009 at 7:26pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 2:36am<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 6:53pm<b>Tifoxendine</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 3:16pm<b>dreybaybay</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 12:40pm<b>robear</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 10:26pm

fmljw's FML badges

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fmljw's favorite FMLs

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

#19260934
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21880) - you deserved it (3294)

On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML

#8519094
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5754) - you deserved it (44079)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:34pm - misc - by anna14 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

#8488357
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30267) - you deserved it (3729)

On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML

#7454643
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29048) - you deserved it (3903)

On 01/20/2010 at 11:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12327) - you deserved it (29192)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML

#6955134
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8147) - you deserved it (85471)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally got around to writing my Christmas cards. After finishing, I realized I had written "Happy Birthday" instead of "Merry Christmas" on every single one. FML

#6850443
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10665) - you deserved it (34698)

On 12/20/2009 at 5:41pm - misc - by mannnnn2717 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML

#6803629
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6866) - you deserved it (38108)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by nwalsh2009 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

#6793560
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12499) - you deserved it (23870)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by ohmy (woman) - Canada

Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom yelling, "Mommy-mommy that lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML

#6441579
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11971) - you deserved it (23475)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:36am - kids - by n/a - United States

Today, I took the bus to work. I was exhausted and had a big mug of coffee. Half asleep and thinking I was in my car, I reached forward to put it in the "cup holder" during the ride. When I let go, I poured hot coffee not only all over myself, but also on the large, angry-looking man next to me. FML

#6340029
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8060) - you deserved it (24501)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:32am - misc - by Spiller (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48518) - you deserved it (3930)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64544) - you deserved it (4720)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I was trying to look cute in front of this really nice guy. I sure hope he thinks smacking into a pole, rebounding backwards and knocking over an old man is cute. FML

#5325412
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12930) - you deserved it (29481)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:14am - love - by mudafkrmas (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML

#4865635
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7749) - you deserved it (59621)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm - work - by staringisrude (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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