fmlfmlfml15

Search for a member

fmlfmlfml15

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20996
  • Number of comments : 258
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

fmlfmlfml15's page activity

Visits<b>stoneplaysgames</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 2:02pm<b>stryggzy</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 10:30pm<b>IdntNOthePASS</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:20pm<b>Doberman101</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Ohitsariel</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 11:51am<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 8:54pm<b>Bootybot47</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 4:05pm<b>ashieee143</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 11:02pm<b>jarnic</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:45pm<b>cmonger</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 8:09pm<b>londoner86</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 5:49pm<b>zaynakins</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 4:04pm<b>Megan_xox</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 3:25am<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 6:42pm<b>Setareh23</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 12:33am<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 11:43am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 5:31pm<b>Skylae</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 10:55pm

fmlfmlfml15's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

fmlfmlfml15's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

by LizP40 / 08/27/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I noticed my dishwasher wouldn't turn on. After shelling out $120 call-out fee, I was a little miffed when the technician walked in, pressed the 'unlock' function and walked out again. FML

by veevee / 08/17/2009 at 4:31am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML

by Overflow / 08/16/2009 at 5:05pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

by bunny / 08/16/2009 at 9:58am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

by fearofzombies / 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

by fearofzombies / 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

by fearofzombies / 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

by esb / 08/13/2009 at 11:23am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, when walking to my car I was mugged. Not only did they take my phone, wallet and watch, the extra few minutes taken in my journey meant that when I got to my car, I was given a parking ticket. FML

by Anon / 08/13/2009 at 10:00am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Transportation

Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I babysat the most annoying and obnoxious kids for almost eight hours, when the parents assured me that they would only be gone about three or so hours. After constant calling and worrying, they finally showed up at 11:30, completely drunk. The mother paid me with three dollars and a banana. FML

by GabsAlot829 / 07/21/2009 at 6:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

by DutchOven / 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my brother and I were going to give our parents their anniversary gift which cost us over $3000. The gift was a trip to London in August to see a show on Michael Jackson's comeback tour. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2009 at 10:31am / United States (Rhode Island) / Holidays

Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML

by Mojo_Jojo / 06/13/2009 at 7:01am / China (Beijing) / Love

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML