fmlbaby

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fmlbaby

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10541
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fmlbaby's page activity

Visits<b>MrEldritch</b> - the 11/20/2016 at 1:57pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 7:53am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 11:04am<b>ratman775</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 3:43am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 6:32pm<b>Nubbington1402</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:22pm<b>SniperN</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 4:00pm<b>SteakfryOne</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:56pm<b>Somefruits</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 2:17am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 4:35pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 10:39am<b>Rannvaen</b> - the 09/01/2011 at 11:14am<b>dersand</b> - the 07/14/2011 at 1:08pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:34am<b>Cathica</b> - the 01/16/2011 at 11:25am<b>TheZarola</b> - the 09/26/2010 at 6:37pm<b>jerzyjerzy</b> - the 09/06/2010 at 4:39pm<b>aloneinnj</b> - the 03/31/2010 at 8:32am

fmlbaby's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

fmlbaby's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I had a massive argument with my boyfriend in which he called me stupid repeatedly. I stomped out of his house and sent a very angry text to my best friend about him. She didn't text back. Then my boyfriend texted. 'My girlfriend is so stupid she can't even text the right number.' FML

by rawkdinosawr / 05/09/2009 at 11:48am / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

by Oblivious / 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm / Kuwait / Love

Today, my car got a flat tire. I jacked up my car, removed the flat and went to get my spare out of the trunk. Where my spare is supposed to be I found a note. It said "You're a bitch - John". John is my ex boyfriend. He borrowed my car the day we broke up, apparently he stole my spare tire too. FML

by jacked / 04/16/2009 at 10:38pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, my father, who I rarely see, drove 400 miles to my wedding. I was so happy to see him, until he got completely trashed at my reception, asked me where he could "score some weed" and told me what a bitch my mom was and how I needed to lose weight. For over an hour. At my wedding. FML

by JeezyCherieze / 04/10/2009 at 9:10pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the bus going to formal for my sorority. I was sitting in the 5th row of the bus when I felt raindrops on my face coming through the open window. I then realized it wasn't raining, but the girl in the 1st row was throwing up out her window and it was coming back in through my window. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 6:40pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

by Ethan / 03/09/2009 at 9:35am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

by GD / 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my wife left me the following voicemail: “Alex, last night was amazing. You took me to places I’ve never been to before. I can’t wait to see you tonight after work.” My name is Rob. We haven’t had sex in two years. FML

by Barrel / 02/05/2009 at 2:57am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy