fmlbaby

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fmlbaby

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10217
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fmlbaby's page activity

Visits<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 7:53am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 11:04am<b>ratman775</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 3:43am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 6:32pm<b>Nubbington1402</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:22pm<b>SniperN</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 4:00pm<b>SteakfryOne</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:56pm<b>Somefruits</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 2:17am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 4:35pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 10:39am<b>Rannvaen</b> - the 09/01/2011 at 11:14am<b>dersand</b> - the 07/14/2011 at 1:08pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:34am<b>Cathica</b> - the 01/16/2011 at 11:25am<b>TheZarola</b> - the 09/26/2010 at 6:37pm<b>jerzyjerzy</b> - the 09/06/2010 at 4:39pm<b>aloneinnj</b> - the 03/31/2010 at 8:32am<b>ha</b> - the 02/24/2010 at 6:51pm

fmlbaby's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

fmlbaby's favorite FMLs

Today, I turned on my boyfriend's computer and saw pictures of all of my credit cards, front and back, and several of my parent's credit cards. I looked in his e-mail and found receipts for items which had been billed to me and delivered to him, including golf clubs and my birthday gift. FML

by Michelle / 08/04/2009 at 1:31pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I have an option on my phone to postpone the sending of my text messages. I thought it would be cute to send my boyfriend texts saying, " I love you and sweet dreams" every night at midnight for a month. He broke up with me and I can't figure out how to stop the texts. FML

by Optimist / 08/04/2009 at 4:26am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. After a few minutes of conversing, he told me he didn't need to give me a ticket. He then asked for a date. I politely declined. After staring at me for a very long moment, he said "I think I'm going to have to give you that ticket after all." FML

by WearingOff / 08/03/2009 at 1:53pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

by jeeperspeepers / 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

by NoFriends / 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going out tonight to celebrate his ex-but-still-friends-girlfriend's birthday at a local club and hopes I wasn't offended that I wasn't invited. I sure am offended; we have the same birthday. FML

by imscrewed / 07/29/2009 at 3:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with my mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. FML

by porkfriedlife / 07/28/2009 at 4:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

by re2K5 / 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm / Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto) / Money

Today, I got a parking ticket for $150. It seems it was issued by my husband, who apparently can't remember license plate numbers. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2009 at 3:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one ripe. My husband yelled "she likes to eat beans." FML

by 1234 / 07/11/2009 at 12:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

by takinabreak / 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML

by onething / 07/08/2009 at 1:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

by DutchOven / 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I called back a number I recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was the number of my boyfriend's fiancé. I've been with him 4 years, he's been with her for 6. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML

by Anna / 07/02/2009 at 9:31am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

by poormom / 06/27/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Illinois) / Kids