fmlbaby

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fmlbaby

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10327
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fmlbaby's page activity

Visits<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 7:53am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 11:04am<b>ratman775</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 3:43am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 6:32pm<b>Nubbington1402</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:22pm<b>SniperN</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 4:00pm<b>SteakfryOne</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:56pm<b>Somefruits</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 2:17am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 4:35pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 10:39am<b>Rannvaen</b> - the 09/01/2011 at 11:14am<b>dersand</b> - the 07/14/2011 at 1:08pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:34am<b>Cathica</b> - the 01/16/2011 at 11:25am<b>TheZarola</b> - the 09/26/2010 at 6:37pm<b>jerzyjerzy</b> - the 09/06/2010 at 4:39pm<b>aloneinnj</b> - the 03/31/2010 at 8:32am<b>ha</b> - the 02/24/2010 at 6:51pm

fmlbaby's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

fmlbaby's favorite FMLs

Today, was my birthday. I asked for a camera - nothing fancy, just a basic digital camera. My mother bought my brother a fancy digital camera, with all the accessories, for over £200. She then gave me his old, analogue camera, that I can't get film for anymore. He hates taking photos. FML

by unlucky / 09/19/2009 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (Hounslow) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a blind date with a girl someone in my office set me up with. Before the waitress returned with our drinks, this girl asked me to go to her parent's house and pretend to be the father of her yet unborn child because the real father is a drug addict and in jail for stealing her dad's car. FML

by oh_its_true / 09/18/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took my 5 year-old son to the barber shop. When the man finishes with him, I tell the guy, "while we're here, I might as well get a trim too." My son then exclaims very loudly in front of a very full barber's shop, "Dad! You don't need a haircut, you need hair!" FML

by ben / 09/18/2009 at 2:17am / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, I finally told my fiancé about the crippling sexual abuse I suffered through as a child. He immediately broke off the wedding. His reason? He can't marry someone who isn't "pure". FML

by Jackie / 09/17/2009 at 9:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my 7 year old daughter decided to use my laptop without my permission. She accidentally got SpaghettiOs on the screen, then used the hard side of a sponge, filled with soapy water, to scrub both the keyboard and screen of my laptop to clean it off so Mommy wouldn't know. FML

by Sadmom / 09/17/2009 at 7:58pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Apparently the medicines don't work on me. I woke up in the middle of the surgery and felt EVERYTHING. One of the nurses asked if I was okay, and the doctor just kept saying "Don't worry she's just dreaming", while tears were pouring down my face. FML

by NoPainNoGain / 09/17/2009 at 10:31am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I got my period. 10 minutes into a 3 hour exam. Apparently they are serious when they say you may not leave the room under any circumstances. FML

by cramps / 09/17/2009 at 9:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, my best friend informed me that I could not be her maid of honour because I "wasn't as pretty as the other bridesmaids" and she wanted her wedding photos to have "consistency". FML

by deadmedia / 08/29/2009 at 8:39pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

by Ned / 08/29/2009 at 7:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

by abercrombieef / 08/27/2009 at 7:57pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, for my birthday, my mom presented me with a $4,000 check to pay for my braces. I've been very self-conscious about my teeth for years. Everyone applauded and told me how happy they were for me. Later, my mom asked me for the check back. Apparently it was just meant to make her look good. FML

by crookedteeth / 08/27/2009 at 1:23pm / United States (Oregon) / Money

Today, I got home from work, and saw a note on the counter my roomate left saying "Sorry about the basement." I then went into the basement, and found that it was flooded. My TV, Xbox360, mini-fridge, and couch were all destroyed. Good thing he tried to stop the leak with scotch tape. FML

by buzzzzkill / 08/27/2009 at 7:51am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to get food, I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and it was getting hard to breathe. I realized it's a bluebery muffin, I'm deathly allergic. I look to my friend, she was laughing saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML

by Hellohaileyexoh / 08/27/2009 at 12:07am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I went to get food, I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and it was getting hard to breathe. I realized it's a bluebery muffin, I'm deathly allergic. I look to my friend, she was laughing saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML

by Hellohaileyexoh / 08/27/2009 at 12:07am / United States (Illinois) / Health