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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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fmlbaby

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fmlbaby
  • Town/Country : Massachusetts, United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7487
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fmlbaby's favorite FMLs

Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML

#6896852 (289)

I agree, your life sucks (7200) - you deserved it (41203)

On 12/23/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by lois2lane (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized build-a-bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear "we should break up" instead. FML

#6751583 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (27307) - you deserved it (2342)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:00pm - misc - by samgonzalessb - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the grocery store where this really hot guy works. I swiped my card but the machine wouldn't read it so I swiped it quickly ten times before getting frustrated and saying "your stupid machine doesn't work!" He took the card and turned it around. His face said it all. FML

#6741801 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (2945) - you deserved it (22063)

On 12/13/2009 at 8:27pm - misc - by MissSmarts (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He was quiet, I heard barking in the background. FML

#6650131 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (30424) - you deserved it (3026)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:20pm - love - by WoofWoof (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend invited me for dinner to meet his parents. Turns out his stepmother is my gynecologist. FML

#6645484 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (27424) - you deserved it (1646)

On 12/07/2009 at 2:00am - misc - by Twiddle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a new smart phone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML

#6645209 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (6253) - you deserved it (28766)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by smart phone mms - United States

Today, my neighbor took out a restraining order against me. She told the cops that for the last week, I've been standing in my yard looking at her though her bedroom window. It's my blow up Santa in the yard, not me. FML

#6637794 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (22885) - you deserved it (1540)

On 12/06/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by stalker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was looking at the annoucements in the newspaper and find out that my boyfriend of the past 6 years is supposed to be married in 2 days to what I thought was his ex-girlfriend. FML

#6335131 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (27843) - you deserved it (2005)

On 11/16/2009 at 11:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my dad has been having an affair. With my formerly favorite teacher. The best part? Yesterday, she announced to the class that she was pregnant. I clapped and congratulated her. FML

#6318893 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (33102) - you deserved it (1281)

On 11/15/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (12806) - you deserved it (21361)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I woke up to find that I left my headlights on last night. I found out by the headlights of my car smashed and a post-it note on my windshield saying "you accidentally left your headlights on... I took care of that for you". FML

#6296267 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (20476) - you deserved it (3865)

On 11/14/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by ZINGER (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

#6285234 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (17485) - you deserved it (4297)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML

#6281731 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (22941) - you deserved it (6196)

On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I received an eviction notice taped to my door stating my landlord is selling his property and moving out of the country in 13 days. My landlord is my boyfriend. FML

#6273079 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (31137) - you deserved it (1911)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:39pm - love - by LonelyMonkey (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML

#6270812 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (29361) - you deserved it (1805)

On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore