fml1365

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Offline (the 09/23/2014 at 4:27am)

fml1365

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2284
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About fml1365 : Message me! (:

fml1365's page activity

Visits<b>zipJohn</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:56am<b>hman1025</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 6:40pm<b>Lt_Senpai</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 4:48am<b>2simz</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 2:21am<b>leJar</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 4:06pm<b>ILoveMyDogs420</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 8:29pm<b>george_s_4</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 2:26pm<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:03am<b>AKanon</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 11:51pm<b>Mean_Oreo2436</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 6:05pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 10:56pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 11:32am<b>Cumminsdan</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 3:25pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 11:18am<b>jet223</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 3:39pm<b>JustForRetorts</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 12:13am<b>axfabxdisaster</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 6:58am<b>BlankSteve</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 9:28am

fml1365's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.

See all of fml1365's badges

fml1365's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my very expensive and beautiful smelling perfume attracts wasps. Whenever I go out, wherever I am, I am followed by multiple wasps. FML

by unluckiestperson / 08/29/2010 at 11:45am / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

by thetalkingvagina / 06/09/2010 at 7:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I was riding my dorm elevator from the 5th floor to the 1st by myself. Since the elevator is really slow, I pulled my pants and underwear down just for kicks. Just then, the door opened to let a girl on at the 4th floor. FML

by embareassed / 01/20/2010 at 12:27am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had given up on finding my makeup bag with cell phone and iPod my mom had bought for me recently. So I went to art to join the group of girls with whom I share the back art studio of my school. One of them was talking about how she'd ripped off some bitch's stuff, and she held up my bag. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2009 at 4:48pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML

by TinyDancer22 / 11/25/2009 at 11:57am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my good buddy of about two years set me up on a blind date. I got to the meeting point and realized that my date was a guy. My "buddy" honestly thought I was gay. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was delivering pizzas for my summer job. I got a big order to deliver for a fellow graduate's party. While I was being paid for the order my friend shows up and says "Don't pay him, his parents are rich, he can handle it." Then they shut the door and took off. The bill was $75. FML

by blahpizzablah / 06/21/2009 at 8:37pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

by Baggabbles123 / 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, after a nap, I went to scratch my eye and felt what I presumed to be a clump of mascara on my eyelash. I didn't wear mascara today. It was a tick. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2009 at 3:37pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, this guy I like let me wear his favorite baseball hat that he never takes off. I returned it to him later, only to find out I have lice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I bought a coral colored hooded sweatshirt, which my girlfriend told me was "hot". I wore it to a baseball game tonight. When it got cold I put the hood over my head, only to hear everyone behind me laugh. The back of the hood said "Boy crazy". It was a teen girls sweatshirt. FML

by khood / 04/14/2009 at 1:10am / United States / Love

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

by blovesg / 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love