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Offline (the 09/23/2014 at 4:27am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1842
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About fml1365 : Message me! (:

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I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

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fml1365's favorite FMLs

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35872) - you deserved it (8330)

On 02/25/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by badmom (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, someone actually thought it was appropriate to compare my mother's death to the death of their cat. FML


Today, my sister set it so all the Yahoo articles I read are published on my Facebook wall. This would have been fine had I not decided to read, "Does the gynecologist care if you shave?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (26479) - you deserved it (5115)

On 01/30/2012 at 10:54pm - misc - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML


I agree, your life sucks (33900) - you deserved it (3643)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:14am - health - by - United States

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38053) - you deserved it (2647)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17548) - you deserved it (35632)

On 08/03/2011 at 10:33am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I was taken to my first session with my psychiatrist. The entirety of the facility, from the waiting room to the doc's office was decorated with dead butterflies in glass. I was there for my crippling mottephobia, the irrational fear of moths and butterflies. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42610) - you deserved it (4338)

On 06/03/2011 at 1:16am - health - by JefferyT (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55599) - you deserved it (5295)

On 05/01/2011 at 10:30am - intimacy - by nothanks - United States (Texas)

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36028) - you deserved it (10378)

On 03/18/2011 at 7:28am - misc - by karmavictim -

Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46148) - you deserved it (5931)

On 03/12/2011 at 4:11pm - misc - by vlcardenx3 (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49001) - you deserved it (5771)

On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (63475) - you deserved it (6557) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Belgium - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37855) - you deserved it (9973)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took my iPod to Walmart to replace the battery. They tell me to call Apple. I go home again and call Apple. They tell me to call Walmart. I call Walmart. They tell me to bring it in. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33454) - you deserved it (3794)

On 10/21/2010 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41583) - you deserved it (8463)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

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Friday 27 November 2015

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