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fml1365

Offline (the 09/23/2014 at 4:27am) | Search for a member

fml1365

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1102
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About fml1365 : Message me! (:

fml1365's page activity

Visits<b>NirvashType0Spec</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 9:07am<b>bigmike25</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 4:35pm<b>xfaze321</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 11:25pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:25am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:52pm<b>Pedregon30</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 6:36pm<b>Saub</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 5:58pm<b>Lax2016bro</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:51pm<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 7:41pm<b>gunner_12</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 5:35pm<b>alfalfalaffa</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 6:53pm<b>aFuckinDeathwish</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 9:57am<b>TorturedXeno</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 3:21am<b>DocBastard</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 7:06am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 12:19am<b>Specialll_Kayyy</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 6:38pm<b>karCSJ</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 8:51am<b>Lavelle1313</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 8:59am

fml1365's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.

See all of fml1365's badges

fml1365's favorite FMLs

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53104) - you deserved it (2931)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my brother sent me an image by Skype, saying I really had to see it. I figured it was some kind of stupid joke, but I tried to look anyway. It wouldn't open. Turns out he thought he could just rename the ".exe" on a virus to ".jpg" and it would still run. My brother's a cretin. FML

#20926554
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37672) - you deserved it (3532)

On 10/19/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

#20883308
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52405) - you deserved it (4798)

On 09/16/2013 at 12:35am - health - by chestycough - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44348) - you deserved it (2988)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

#20864719
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45219) - you deserved it (19238)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Today, while I was teaching my chickens to eat out of my hand, one of the hens bit my finger and I dropped the entire handful of treats. Result: bonanza for the bird. The rest decided they could get more treats by biting me rather than by behaving. I now have a flock of fingerbiters. FML

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

#20850438
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43627) - you deserved it (9416)

On 08/23/2013 at 3:40am - misc - by seriously? -

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

#20838513
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49213) - you deserved it (3141)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:34am - work - by lawman (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

#20824490
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41565) - you deserved it (3666) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by pong - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, my apparently braindead and now ex-boyfriend asked me if "this period thing" is going to happen a lot, and said that if it is, "we're so done." FML

#20824199
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50383) - you deserved it (4402)

On 08/06/2013 at 5:55pm - love - by Crouching Tiger, Hidden Retard (woman) - United States

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

#20809292
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61339) - you deserved it (9121)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a drunk driver drove his car through my mailbox. He got pissed, started yelling, and threatened to sue me for "putting the mailbox in the middle of the road". If my front lawn is a road, I'm going to have some serious issues. FML

#20754226
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40555) - you deserved it (2396)

On 06/29/2013 at 12:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

#20684142
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67280) - you deserved it (5637)

On 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)



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