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fml1026

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fml1026

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  • Number of visits : 548
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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fml1026's page activity

Visits<b>lostangel5</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 4:57pm<b>Sun_Kissed18</b> - the 08/21/2010 at 7:37pm

fml1026's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of fml1026's badges

fml1026's favorite FMLs

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28455) - you deserved it (5995)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34555) - you deserved it (6690)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29260) - you deserved it (6011)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26710) - you deserved it (6287)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML

#20178699
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28063) - you deserved it (3232)

On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20510) - you deserved it (3657)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34276) - you deserved it (3496)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25987) - you deserved it (2326)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)

Today, my dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs with white outlines are "optional." I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for being "that stupid." Thanks dad. FML

#20129645
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11137) - you deserved it (36067)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19am - money - by Dinger1992 - United States

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

#20128340
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26345) - you deserved it (4795)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29714) - you deserved it (4518)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75014) - you deserved it (8779)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

#20106995
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24623) - you deserved it (5045)

On 10/08/2012 at 3:14am - love - by stoych (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34690) - you deserved it (4741)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

#20070700
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30658) - you deserved it (7445)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)



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