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Offline (the 04/16/2015 at 8:16am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 May 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1997
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About fml0505 : I'm a businessman who doubles as a door to door Mormon recruiter. I'll hand you a bible and sell you shit all at the same time. I'm very good. So good that I can convince grown ass, free thinking adults into believing Mormonism, and then sell them a vacuum. Because cleanliness is next to godliness.

fml0505's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 9:19am<b>anngrace2005</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 4:54pm<b>NonScaryPumkin</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 10:53pm<b>ms1114</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 4:36pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 11:44pm<b>Kami123</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 4:22pm<b>madi113</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:47pm<b>ehandiedroll</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 1:56pm<b>TotesNotCj</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 1:55pm<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 1:24pm<b>dusthar</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 8:19pm<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:53am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 3:40pm<b>winzy1453</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 6:10am<b>syki</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 4:16am<b>mcore</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 3:51pm<b>mtd198</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:15am<b>TotallyTrudy</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 1:55pm

Fucked!<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 9:40pm<b>dusthar</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:08am<b>blue15564</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:31am<b>Kristy110</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:40am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 4:12pm<b>TheBelt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 3:29am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:44pm<b>Chickenlips21</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:25pm<b>redbootsarecool</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:11pm<b>coyotefox</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 1:06pm<b>justmenooneelse</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:59am<b>fbcclaire</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:19am<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:51am<b>fvck_my_life_7</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:18pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:41pm<b>DamnBailie</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:17pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:50pm<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:36pm

fml0505's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of fml0505's badges

fml0505's favorite FMLs

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (765128) - you deserved it (62785)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML


I agree, your life sucks (384384) - you deserved it (44117)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML


I agree, your life sucks (309689) - you deserved it (21817)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML


I agree, your life sucks (28320) - you deserved it (50138)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (41627) - you deserved it (68470)

On 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm - kids - by superfkd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (519156) - you deserved it (51204)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML


I agree, your life sucks (1240042) - you deserved it (137728)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML


I agree, your life sucks (156814) - you deserved it (13320)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML


I agree, your life sucks (31574) - you deserved it (5647)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML


I agree, your life sucks (28982) - you deserved it (3481)

On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49586) - you deserved it (2807)

On 12/13/2008 at 12:48am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

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