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Offline (the 11/20/2016 at 8:25am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 May 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3709
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About fml0505 : I'm just an ordinary towel, in a lot of ways. I was a colorful, soft, and gentle soul. Full of purpose, and eager to help. Always there to wrap around your shoulders and make everything seem alright. I waited and waited for these moments, and you'd always come back. I didn't mind waiting, if it was for you. I never felt like I was alone.

Until the day you stopped coming.

Left out to dry, I drifted into the darkness and slowly withered away. My minds eye had nowhere to look but inward, and there it stayed. Never blinking, never faltering; always peering down on me, demanding that I look back, demanding that I see who I really am.

I was always alone... I'm just a towel.

fml0505's page activity

Visits<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 10:17am<b>betweenwinds</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 12:27am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 5:46pm<b>hollenbackam</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 11:17pm<b>onlychildFTW</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 2:20pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 1:21pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 3:35am<b>anngrace2005</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 1:44pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 9:48pm<b>coyotefox</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 10:32am<b>am1717</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 10:02am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 9:19am<b>NonScaryPumkin</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 10:53pm<b>ms1114</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 4:36pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 11:44pm<b>Kami123</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 4:22pm<b>madi113</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:47pm<b>ehandiedroll</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 1:56pm

Fucked!<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 4:25am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 9:40pm<b>dusthar</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:08am<b>blue15564</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:31am<b>Kristy110</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:40am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 4:12pm<b>TheBelt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 3:29am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:44pm<b>Chickenlips21</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:25pm<b>redbootsarecool</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:11pm<b>coyotefox</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 1:06pm<b>justmenooneelse</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:59am<b>fbcclaire</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:19am<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:51am<b>fvck_my_life_7</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:18pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:41pm<b>DamnBailie</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:17pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:50pm

fml0505's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of fml0505's badges

fml0505's favorite FMLs

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

by WTF / 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm / Health

Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2011 at 11:46am / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son told his teacher that she "has a nice rack." He's four. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 1:50am / Singapore / Kids

Today, I was getting my portrait done. The artist told me to smile. He looked at me, then said, "Oh, don't smile." FML

by :) / 04/22/2010 at 1:37pm / Greece (Attiki) / Health

Today, I was bored at work looking at a sex offender list of my area. After a couple pages, I saw my uncle. FML

by grossuncle / 02/25/2010 at 12:44pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

by gp28 / 02/18/2010 at 3:08pm / United States / Love

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

by Funnymann / 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2009 at 9:36am / Sweden (Norrbottens Lan) / Health

Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML

by Momlovesme / 08/07/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my brother was selling pictures of me showering. For what? World of Warcraft money. FML

by Anon / 07/27/2009 at 3:32am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a funeral. When I got there, I hugged one of the family members and he asked, "How are you?" Out of habit, I replied, "Good, how about you?" He looked appalled and shouted "How the fuck do you think I am?! My mother just died!" loud enough for everyone to hear. FML

by partycats / 07/23/2009 at 12:40am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up feeling a tingling sensation on my testicles. I enjoyed it for a few seconds, then threw off the covers. Looks like there have been cockroaches in my bed. FML

by fartypeepee / 07/18/2009 at 6:48am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

by shit... / 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals