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About fml0505 : I'm a very interesting person. In fact, I'm so interesting that the short space FML provides for a bio is insulting. How dare you FML, how dare you. You should be honored that a person of my stature graces you with the presence I behold. I deserve, at the very least, a page dedicated to the words that gracefully fall from my mouth. I work at a factory, alright, and I'm the best damn box packager in the world. Clocked in at 8.4 seconds today, taped, labeled, and put on a pallet. No big deal. I drink malt liquor like it's champagne. I watched the entire Breaking Bad series in one sitting. Need I go further with my meritorious accomplishments? People bow down to this walking God like creature of success. I expect that you will accommodate me after seeing but a glimpse of my admirable, riveting biography. Good day.
Direct all fan mail to the person on the left.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML
Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML
Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML
Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML
Wednesday 13 August 2014