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fml0505

Offline (the 07/28/2014 at 3:30am) | Search for a member

fml0505

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 31 May 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 998
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About fml0505 : I'm just your average guy. For starters, I'm a member of the Westboro Baptist Church. I kill the time traveling to protests by listening to Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus. They are my favorite.

Besides my religious affiliations and musical tastes, I am a cat lover. I have 12 of them and I am looking for lucky number 13! When I'm not tending to the overflowing litter boxes strewn across my house, I make custom cat sweaters.

My favorite TV shows are Honey Boo Boo, Jersey Shore, The Bachelorette, Toddlers for Tiaras, and all the different versions of Real Housewives. I only watch reality TV, more specifically; the kind that shows humanity at our finest and inspires me to become a better person.

One more thing; I use hashtags and lol in everyday conversation, all while tweeting my every thought and uploading hundreds of pictures of myself on Instagram.

#ThatsIt #ImOnTheLeft

fml0505's page activity

Visits<b>ldemosthenous</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 2:18am<b>Silly_Lilly6969</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:27am<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 8:06am<b>rachhhh91</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:53am<b>xDochx</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 12:09pm<b>Tori1991</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 3:54pm<b>ChloeLentin</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 9:59am<b>ajgmom</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 7:41am<b>Ace132</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 6:35am<b>MrDante</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 4:27pm<b>Xotoolyxo</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 5:02pm<b>91hayek</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 11:15pm<b>msmama1985</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 11:08pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 5:25am<b>NOACCEPTANCE772</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 7:33am<b>crooklynkid</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 10:47pm<b>_Rachel_2008</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 9:28pm<b>ColdAndFuzzy</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 12:49am

fml0505's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of fml0505's badges

fml0505's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized my acne looks like star constellations. I've already found the Little Dipper on my left cheek. FML

#20063395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17150) - you deserved it (2056)

On 09/08/2012 at 4:32pm - health - by balletteacher - United States

Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML

#19982373
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34207) - you deserved it (1854)

On 07/24/2012 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML

#19377820
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22020) - you deserved it (2542)

On 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm - love - by sad (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML

#19372815
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10952) - you deserved it (19571)

On 03/29/2012 at 9:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I joined a new choir. My director asked me if my best friend was actually my girlfriend. Taken aback, I said no, I was not a lesbian. He then asked me to clarify my gender. FML

#19196656
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28239) - you deserved it (4255)

On 03/01/2012 at 4:43pm - misc - by Rachel - United States

Today, my downstairs neighbor died. I knew because the smell wafted up to my apartment. FML

#19008495
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27391) - you deserved it (2223)

On 02/06/2012 at 5:38am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

#18964784
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42307) - you deserved it (3715)

On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML

#18877531
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29522) - you deserved it (7034)

On 01/22/2012 at 3:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I noticed we had gotten new colored toothpicks at the restaurant I work at. That was the highlight of my day. Apparently my life has gotten so boring I get excited over colored toothpicks. FML

#18458451
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (4026)

On 12/08/2011 at 2:30am - work - by dulllife - United States (Texas)

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

#18285625
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34382) - you deserved it (8031)

On 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm - misc - by dan - Reserved

Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML

#18032391
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34649) - you deserved it (2938)

On 10/20/2011 at 5:18pm - love - by cmd102 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML

#17817623
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25996) - you deserved it (2498)

On 09/24/2011 at 12:40am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

#17607153
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27519) - you deserved it (7773)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML

#17471195
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29935) - you deserved it (3522)

On 08/14/2011 at 3:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41580) - you deserved it (11181)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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