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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69466) - you deserved it (32923)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13415) - you deserved it (43552)
On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43681) - you deserved it (5765)
On 05/17/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my friend Kate and I were helping build a playground. Halfway through, a construction worker asks where we go to school. I told him we graduated and proudly held degrees in psych. The construction worker stopped mid-dig, glanced at us sadly and said, "yeah that's what my degree's in too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39582) - you deserved it (5842)
On 05/17/2009 at 12:20am - work - by blairheir721 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48745) - you deserved it (38221)
On 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by madzlovesgee (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64514) - you deserved it (4266)
On 05/12/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by Karmas3itch - United States (Ohio)
Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60073) - you deserved it (5967)
On 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm - kids - by fmal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I finally got my cast taken off my leg after a long month of crutches. I was so excited, until four dead spiders fell out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67035) - you deserved it (2710)
On 04/30/2009 at 12:53am - animals - by dasbooot (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML
I agree, your life sucks (77178) - you deserved it (20170)
On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29857) - you deserved it (62963)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm - kids - by heytherexo (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (170863) - you deserved it (52080)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44531) - you deserved it (79658)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27724) - you deserved it (15680)
On 12/26/2008 at 11:07pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version
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