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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 927
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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flyingflies's page activity

Visits<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 12:47am<b>BoneCollector</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 2:06am<b>thecakeisalie13</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 6:37am<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 4:40pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 9:48am<b>CaptMacLeod</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 1:58am<b>WinterChild</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 2:15am<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 9:52am<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 9:34am<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 4:37am<b>Dictionaryspeaks</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 3:06am<b>Chloe555</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 2:07pm<b>TheNoNameGuy</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 10:29am<b>Helloilike_lacro</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 4:18am<b>iYodah</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 7:56pm<b>t</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 9:10am<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 1:27am<b>JD2Chameleons</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 10:15pm

Fucked!<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 10:38am<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 7:27am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 3:29pm<b>Talented73</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 1:44pm<b>CCRider</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 2:12am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 6:13pm<b>DeliMeat08</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 12:23pm<b>madscientist_17</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 4:11am<b>MasterTron</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 10:05am<b>RingKaKing91</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 5:44pm<b>lambda</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 10:13pm<b>csjc</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 6:02pm<b>santoshbabu</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 4:29am<b>azzholio</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 2:31am<b>ironhead</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 1:13am<b>Mdon0719</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 11:40pm<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 2:12pm<b>bheaze</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 9:45am

flyingflies's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of flyingflies's badges

flyingflies's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend's dick got stuck in the wrong hole. And by wrong hole I mean the pool filter. FML

by AnxiousCucumber / 09/07/2016 at 4:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

by awkward / 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

by Igor / 12/19/2012 at 12:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, feeling very distant to my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2012 at 2:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2012 at 1:03pm / Estonia / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

by opinaise / 08/02/2012 at 9:00am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Love

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

by Hannah / 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a key finder that responds to loud, high-pitched, annoying tones. It beeps every time I talk. FML

by annoying / 01/09/2012 at 8:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of something I said 2 years ago, as a joke. I guess she took a while to get it. FML

by Username / 05/29/2011 at 12:41am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, my mom went snooping through my art bin to "clean out my old drawings". She found numerous nude pieces and accused me of selling porn. My mom mistook and threw out 57 anatomy practice sketches that I worked very very hard on, and ripped up the remainder of my drawings. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2009 at 8:02pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML

by UrbanCass / 06/25/2009 at 7:44pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work