Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

flyfallfadeaway

Search for a member

flyfallfadeaway

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 September 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8785
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About flyfallfadeaway : "what are you gonna be when you grow up?"

dead, and so are you.

flyfallfadeaway's page activity

Visits<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:58am<b>moliknz</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 7:08pm<b>KK3137</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 2:30pm<b>eide74</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 10:59am<b>vikings63</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 1:40am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 9:16pm<b>LazyBoy1710</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 7:24pm<b>kell710</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 11:21pm<b>hyalophobia</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 3:21pm<b>Timillionare</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 1:51pm<b>tsalaverria</b> - the 05/07/2009 at 7:53pm<b>iluvpink02</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 3:02pm<b>Lazarus_Rising</b> - the 04/16/2009 at 9:23pm<b>Ender_</b> - the 03/21/2009 at 12:34am

flyfallfadeaway's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

flyfallfadeaway's favorite FMLs

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95270) - you deserved it (38980)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I parked my car on the street to go to the gym. When i came back my car was blocked by a parade of people. I turned to a shop worker smoking a cigarette and said "Jesus! What the hell is going on?" I got many strange looks. It was a Good Friday parade lead by a local church. FML

#920023
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14553) - you deserved it (43016)

On 04/11/2009 at 10:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114
412 comments

I agree, your life sucks (223550) - you deserved it (27746)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38634) - you deserved it (129773)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

#880527
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17838) - you deserved it (68508)

On 04/09/2009 at 1:04am - love - by skmusic (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while teaching my kindergarten class, I had a feeling I was starting my period again. A boy in the class asked me what a period was. Stressing over my own, I briefly told him it's a woman's time of the month when they have mood swings. He was asking about the dot at the end of a sentence. FML

#880464
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42907) - you deserved it (35763)

On 04/09/2009 at 12:53am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

#879478
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65289) - you deserved it (8534)

On 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm - animals - by BadBreath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, on the train, I got excited when I suddenly noticed I had a missed call and voicemail from a boy I liked. With a grin on my face, I told my friend. My dad overheard and said, "oh sweetie, he probably had the wrong number." The voicemail was blank. I texted him. The call was an accident. FML

#878620
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49495) - you deserved it (3871)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:35pm - misc - by lyssanthamum - United States (New York)

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66514) - you deserved it (11193)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

#814298
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71125) - you deserved it (4686)

On 04/05/2009 at 9:32am - health - by manlyman (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

#572670
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79165) - you deserved it (8847)

On 03/24/2009 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had my car stolen. When the police found it, pretty much everything inside was missing. For some reason, I had left 6 pairs of shoes in my back seat. Whoever stole my car thought it would be funny to take one shoe from each pair. I now own 6 unmatched shoes and my car smells like sex. FML

#570871
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84229) - you deserved it (5729)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by proudestmonkey (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML

#566984
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66391) - you deserved it (9855)

On 03/23/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by The_HML - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97918) - you deserved it (30286)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: