floral100

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Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 3:56pm)

floral100

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 568
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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floral100's page activity

Visits<b>DirkTheDiggler</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 12:05am

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floral100's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

by smashed / 09/24/2012 at 10:33am / United States / Kids

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom once again commented on how I need to work out. It has come to the point that I now walk around in exercise clothes and have a bottle of water/fake sweat to put on, just so she thinks I work out. This is how lazy I am. FML

by maddiebauer / 07/26/2012 at 10:48am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

by vanessa560 / 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I found out that my best friend won $1,000 in a photography contest. With a photo I took. FML

by Jessica / 12/26/2011 at 11:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent the day crying, and ate McDonald's for my Christmas dinner. FML

by Holly Jolly / 12/26/2011 at 1:33am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard someone calling my name. It was my neighbor. Turns out they named their dogs after my mother, my sister and me. FML

by IHopeYourDogsGetDiarrheaAndPoopOnYourBed / 12/20/2011 at 6:49am / Mauritius / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother commented "loser" on my Facebook profile picture. She got 41 likes. FML

by milly / 12/20/2011 at 5:43am / Norway (More og Romsdal) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML

by childdreamkiller / 12/08/2011 at 12:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Kids

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in sexual activity anymore because it is getting too boring. FML

by beaverless / 05/02/2011 at 4:26pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, my new boyfriend was at my flat for the first time. He picked up something in the bathroom and said 'What the hell's this?'. I told him what it was for, and he said 'You girls and your weird female products. Who needs all this stuff?'. It wasn't a female thing. It was shampoo. FML

by cleangirl / 03/14/2011 at 7:45pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML

by hugme101 / 12/19/2010 at 7:20pm / Canada / Love