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Offline (the 07/19/2015 at 9:56pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 September 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 14466
  • Number of comments : 2058
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 60 posted

About flockz : i'm a dick. are you offended by me? aw sorry ouch FYL for sure. dump me then sue me. you deserve better. shit happens. (best FML comments)

not giving a fuck is an art.

Favorite FMLers:

flockz's page activity

Visits<b>Raelthelamb</b> - 23 hours ago<b>arano</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:38pm<b>dontmindme7</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 9:39pm<b>lordofunny</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 5:43pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 10:16pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 6:19pm<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:48pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 8:27pm<b>LEGATE_LANIUS</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 5:27pm<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 11:25pm<b>CeizMac13</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 7:37am<b>schall_suono</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 9:58am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 8:35pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 3:56pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 8:26pm<b>Jkalia</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 10:19am<b>Kyrie646</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:36am<b>DEATHLORD</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:49pm

Fucked!<b>arano</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 12:38am<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 5:48am<b>DEATHLORD</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 7:49pm<b>quazimozart</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 12:47am<b>nezumii</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 8:32pm<b>patts_</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 9:23pm<b>lagreeni</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 6:00am<b>pookleberry</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:22am<b>Ragatyme</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:41am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 10:21pm<b>S13rra01257</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 4:10am<b>XmasaX</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 3:50am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:44am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 7:12pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 8:02pm<b>rossea</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 4:19am<b>SchelleForelle</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 3:44pm<b>papygeorges</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 11:09am

flockz's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of flockz's badges

flockz's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML


I agree, your life sucks (36337) - you deserved it (2603)

On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20780) - you deserved it (39010)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by choldcreations - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML


Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26381) - you deserved it (3679)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in the car with my cousin and we saw a family of three. They where all really fat and the lady was holding 2 boxes of pizza. I decided to roll down the window and scream "fatasses" as loud as I could while my cousin drove off. They were going to the same house we were. FML


I agree, your life sucks (7294) - you deserved it (90560)

On 01/31/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by lauris1306 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29421) - you deserved it (6080)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14047) - you deserved it (21487)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by FavreFan99 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he tried to put his hand inside my pants. I didn't want it to be that easy so I denied, but he insisted a lot and I finally let him. He started to sing "We Are The Champions." FML


I agree, your life sucks (10795) - you deserved it (22422)

On 12/29/2009 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by queen (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11783) - you deserved it (39011)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41009) - you deserved it (4786)

On 12/02/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42663) - you deserved it (3299)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I used text-to-speech just so that I can hear "I love you" for once. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45012) - you deserved it (7253)

On 11/20/2009 at 2:29am - love - by lonelyman (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked a girl I like out. She ended up having an asthma attack because she was laughing so hard. I guess that's a no. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40368) - you deserved it (2723)

On 11/14/2009 at 1:38pm - love - by asthma_attacker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after waiting a couple weeks, I finally slept with this guy I really like. It went like this: 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, done. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22741) - you deserved it (4497)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by kl (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35752) - you deserved it (12219)

On 10/11/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by keepmouthshut (man) - United States (California)

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