About flockz : i'm a dick. are you offended by me? aw sorry ouch FYL for sure. dump me then sue me. you deserve better. shit happens.
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21167) - you deserved it (5572)
On 12/28/2010 at 2:44am - intimacy - by sealy (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to see more of his passionate side. He pushed my head down towards his lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19607) - you deserved it (9625)
On 11/23/2010 at 1:50am - intimacy - by Username -
Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9845) - you deserved it (44514)
On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28170) - you deserved it (2610)
On 11/09/2010 at 2:51am - intimacy - by secretdoll (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9510) - you deserved it (33419)
On 09/23/2010 at 7:01am - misc - by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16926) - you deserved it (22168)
On 09/08/2010 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dom - United States
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38266) - you deserved it (10979)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26734) - you deserved it (14932)
On 08/18/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Photagrapher - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28715) - you deserved it (11640)
On 07/27/2010 at 10:43am - intimacy - by lonelyguy321 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26431) - you deserved it (3584)
On 07/27/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by Marie - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy on the coffee table, threw away a used condom, dug his hand into my bag of Doritos, and washed his hands. In that order. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47572) - you deserved it (3109)
On 06/17/2010 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Doritos (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32734) - you deserved it (2402)
On 05/08/2010 at 6:07am - intimacy - by notmydad. (woman) - Philippines (Manila)
Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25850) - you deserved it (1654)
On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15176) - you deserved it (25967)
On 03/07/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by choldcreations - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27436) - you deserved it (3953)
On 03/03/2010 at 4:18pm - misc - by uHazFailedTotall - Norway (Rogaland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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