About flockz : i'm a dick. are you offended by me? aw sorry ouch FYL for sure. dump me then sue me. you deserve better. shit happens.
sirinz.org (best FML comments)
not giving a fuck is an art.
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-Iamnotmyself
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34178) - you deserved it (2502)
On 06/11/2011 at 9:06am - health - by sickbaby (woman) - Singapore
Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26516) - you deserved it (15147)
On 06/02/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, my girlfriend told me how she loves when I kiss her out of the blue. I don't have the heart to admit I only do it so I can get some peace and quiet for a few seconds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13411) - you deserved it (25272)
On 05/31/2011 at 12:51am - love - by romantic84 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33432) - you deserved it (3122)
On 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28380) - you deserved it (18312)
On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35582) - you deserved it (15883)
On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States
Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29850) - you deserved it (3399)
On 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Charlie (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38632) - you deserved it (2569)
On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17611) - you deserved it (34980)
On 04/26/2011 at 9:56am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16135) - you deserved it (51424)
On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15604) - you deserved it (16452)
On 03/31/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31876) - you deserved it (7661)
On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States
Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44390) - you deserved it (2988)
On 02/05/2011 at 7:02am - misc - by bob - United States (Arizona)
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10808) - you deserved it (27438) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33037) - you deserved it (21159) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Monday 17 June 2013
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