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Offline (the 07/19/2015 at 9:56pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 September 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 16916
  • Number of comments : 2058
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 60 posted

About flockz : i'm a dick. are you offended by me? aw sorry ouch FYL for sure. dump me then sue me. you deserve better. shit happens.
sirinz.org (best FML comments)

not giving a fuck is an art.

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flockz's page activity

Visits<b>trex19</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 12:36am<b>kusje</b> - the 10/13/2016 at 3:35am<b>saifnaqvi11</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 6:45pm<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 11:14pm<b>Shadow197</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 1:59pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 5:34pm<b>Ajax_Teh_Great</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 2:36am<b>Laeffy</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 10:18pm<b>gorgonkiller15</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 11:12am<b>vinnie_boombotz</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 7:51pm<b>Red_Ralph</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 4:55am<b>BoboCracker</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 6:50pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 3:29pm<b>blackfox123</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 12:17am<b>JamesMago</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 2:08pm<b>KyoshiroT</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 2:21pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 12:06pm<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 3:23am

Fucked!<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 6:06pm<b>sackofsad</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 10:23am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 2:00am<b>SashaTaras</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 4:38am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 10:07pm<b>BakedBanana</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 10:16pm<b>twitchywaffles</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 6:46am<b>tintarroja</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 3:40am<b>Cyntha</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 5:41am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 6:30am<b>arano</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 12:38am<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 5:48am<b>DEATHLORD</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 7:49pm<b>quazimozart</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 12:47am<b>nezumii</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 8:32pm<b>patts_</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 9:23pm<b>lagreeni</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 6:00am<b>pookleberry</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:22am

flockz's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of flockz's badges

flockz's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

by Mom / 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML

by sickbaby / 06/11/2011 at 9:06am / Singapore / Health

Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2011 at 12:17am / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend told me how she loves when I kiss her out of the blue. I don't have the heart to admit I only do it so I can get some peace and quiet for a few seconds. FML

by romantic84 / 05/31/2011 at 12:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

by coldwetnose / 05/09/2011 at 2:08am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

by Charlie / 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2011 at 2:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2011 at 9:56am / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML

by Nate / 03/31/2011 at 11:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

by kingpin7 / 03/30/2011 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

by bob / 02/05/2011 at 7:02am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Love