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flockz

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 September 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11181
  • Number of comments : 2058
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 60 posted

About flockz : i'm a dick. are you offended by me? aw sorry ouch FYL for sure. dump me then sue me. you deserve better. shit happens.
sirinz.org (best FML comments)

not giving a fuck is an art.

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flockz's page activity

Visits<b>bananaman223</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 7:54pm<b>PandahHeart</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 5:53pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 4:16am<b>brianjman14</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:52pm<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 10:48pm<b>MrKronos</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:28am<b>xSLEEPYxHEADx</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 2:39pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 8:30am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 6:09am<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:51pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 5:30pm<b>cmonger</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 10:27am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 10:35pm<b>rebbyls4</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 12:46am<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 7:32pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 6:07am<b>SteakfryOne</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:55am<b>LEGATE_LANIUS</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 12:50am

flockz's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of flockz's badges

flockz's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31326) - you deserved it (5436)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML

#17429477
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33898) - you deserved it (6475)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by noway - Singapore

Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML

#17366329
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10959) - you deserved it (47040)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:05pm - misc - by meganridner (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

#17365411
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13839) - you deserved it (56743)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my father described my method of hiding porn on the computer as "extremely naive." I don't know what's worse, that he found my porn or that he's better at hiding his. FML

#17355866
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13518) - you deserved it (27768)

On 08/03/2011 at 2:31pm - intimacy - by Alohaporno (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31480) - you deserved it (2871)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I sneezed so violently that my tampon came out. FML

#17227905
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62161) - you deserved it (7310)

On 07/23/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Sarah - United States

Today, after returning home from a camping trip, I found a leech on my love spuds. I ended up having to call my dad in to help me get it off. FML

#17221687
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29727) - you deserved it (4372)

On 07/22/2011 at 8:57pm - intimacy - by jab43 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML

#17030601
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9273) - you deserved it (79531)

On 07/08/2011 at 4:38pm - misc - by UhOh (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

#17001302
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8478) - you deserved it (71831)

On 07/06/2011 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML

#16862726
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44393) - you deserved it (9940)

On 06/26/2011 at 6:32am - kids - by Unsanitary (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML

#16851241
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31722) - you deserved it (3342)

On 06/25/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by muddygal (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML

#16851241
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31722) - you deserved it (3342)

On 06/25/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by muddygal (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML

#16762179
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33939) - you deserved it (5123)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:14pm - health - by Me - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to disable my iPod Touch for 45 minutes. After 45 minutes, I went to enter my password. I missed a number accidentally. 50 minutes to go. FML

#16734083
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20545) - you deserved it (27246)

On 06/18/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by iDisable - Australia (Victoria)



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