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flockz

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flockz
  • Town/Country : Texas, United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 September 1990 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 8508
  • Number of comments : 1939
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 46 posted

About flockz : i'm a dick. are you offended by me? aw sorry ouch FYL for sure. dump me then sue me. you deserve better. shit happens.
sirinz.org (best FML comments)

not giving a fuck is an art.

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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flockz's favorite FMLs

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

#509
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8079) - you deserved it (44685)

On 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm - intimacy - by Mateo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

#391
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37200) - you deserved it (18391)

On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML

#337
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34827) - you deserved it (2993)

On 11/18/2008 at 11:58pm - intimacy - by Gwayhir - Sent from mobile version

Today, after a party, I brought a girl to the flat I share with my 2 best friends. While we are doing it, she asks me "You're not afraid your friends could hear us?". The only answer that spontaneously came out of my mouth: "Don't worry, they're used to it". FML

#76
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12707) - you deserved it (63310)

On 10/27/2008 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Daemon - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

#8
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (226991) - you deserved it (18804)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -



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