Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

flea_of_death

Search for a member

flea_of_death

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 May 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9968
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About flea_of_death : This thing changes all the time. Okay, as of July 2013, here's my about me! I do enjoy My Little Pony, but I won't shove it in your face. It's just something I like! I'm going to be majoring in pre-vet medicine when I start college this fall, and I will be in the Pride of the Southland Marching Band. Look them up on Youtube, it's worth it. I don't comment often on here, but when I do, I'm normally defending ponies, making a witty comment, or saying something creepy. That's just who I am. =) Feel free to message me, though I don't respond very often due to mostly using the mobile app. Which is why if a comment seems out of place, my phone freaked out. I'm rambling right now because it's 2:30 in the morning as I type this. Have a cookie if you read this far. Have a wonderful day!

flea_of_death's page activity

Visits<b>MinerZ</b> - yesterday at 10:51pm<b>Crlnprz</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:09pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:44pm<b>tegankeen</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 8:58am<b>TYRRELL</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:15pm<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 4:15am<b>curticus</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 8:59am<b>kayana153</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:48am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 2:20am<b>redraven88</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 1:40am<b>tigerfish</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 10:22pm<b>MrWolfy</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 4:53pm<b>EllieMay42</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 2:31pm<b>Sundaynighthater</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 7:47pm<b>byEyecandy</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 11:24am<b>Waredo_Dyrge</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 11:21pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 1:54am<b>sezual</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 6:47am

flea_of_death's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of flea_of_death's badges

flea_of_death's favorite FMLs

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#3752629
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54463) - you deserved it (5809)

On 07/14/2009 at 6:13pm - intimacy - by bellaboop1990 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I turned 23. I had asked my mom for some things to decorate my new place. As I opened the box to reveal my gift, a mirror was inside. I liked the mirror. I did not like the note attached that said "Look inside the mirror to see who is now 100% financially responsible for themselves." FML

#3627514
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36775) - you deserved it (17647)

On 07/10/2009 at 12:08am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

#3602440
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21933) - you deserved it (53080)

On 07/09/2009 at 2:21am - health - by Fattypatty (man) - United States (California)

Today, my laptop plug got stuck in the wall outlet. I stood there for 10 minutes violently trying to yank it out. My boss came in and screamed at me for making noise. I was angry, so I glared at him and yanked on the plug as hard as I could. It dislodged itself noiselessly and I fell over. FML

#3601135
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9798) - you deserved it (37052)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:33am - work - by aireun (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my laptop plug got stuck in the wall outlet. I stood there for 10 minutes violently trying to yank it out. My boss came in and screamed at me for making noise. I was angry, so I glared at him and yanked on the plug as hard as I could. It dislodged itself noiselessly and I fell over. FML

#3601135
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9798) - you deserved it (37052)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:33am - work - by aireun (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my laptop plug got stuck in the wall outlet. I stood there for 10 minutes violently trying to yank it out. My boss came in and screamed at me for making noise. I was angry, so I glared at him and yanked on the plug as hard as I could. It dislodged itself noiselessly and I fell over. FML

#3601135
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9798) - you deserved it (37052)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:33am - work - by aireun (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I thought I was home alone so I went to take a shower and left my door open. My dog came in, stole my bra, and ran out of my bathroom. I jumped out and followed him only to find out that my brother had two of his friends over. They all saw me naked and my dog had my bra in his mouth. FML

#3582507
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47732) - you deserved it (10910)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:51pm - animals - by coral (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I sat on an elevator for 10 minutes thinking I was stuck. After waiting awhile I looked at the screen to see what floor I was stuck on, only to realize I hadn't pressed a button so I had just stayed on the ground floor. FML

#3578218
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7358) - you deserved it (58005)

On 07/08/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Nancy (woman) -

Today, I sat on an elevator for 10 minutes thinking I was stuck. After waiting awhile I looked at the screen to see what floor I was stuck on, only to realize I hadn't pressed a button so I had just stayed on the ground floor. FML

#3578218
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7358) - you deserved it (58005)

On 07/08/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Nancy (woman) -

Today, I met with my realtor to close on a house for my boyfriend and me. While waiting for my boyfriend, I got a text message from him saying he was breaking up with me. I had already signed the papers on our house. Now I'm responsible for a mortgage that I can only afford with his help. FML

#3542974
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53620) - you deserved it (12789)

On 07/07/2009 at 12:48am - money - by housepoor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML

#3533033
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11716) - you deserved it (47861)

On 07/06/2009 at 7:28pm - work - by Cody (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my coworker came over to my desk and told me that I should protect my Twitter updates, because I had unknowingly made them public. My tweets include drinking stories, all the men I've hooked up with, various cuss words, sexual innuendos, and how much I hate my coworkers. FML

#3531559
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7159) - you deserved it (75582)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out why my girlfriend of 8 months has never agreed to stay the night before. Now I have a 4-month old mattress that needs replacing, and a 23-year-old bedwetter for a girlfriend. FML

#3500030
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48143) - you deserved it (7944)

On 07/05/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by wetboy (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I spent hours arguing with my mother, who claimed I shouldn't make a three hour drive because I wouldn't be able to concentrate for that long. I argued that I was a perfectly capable driver, and left. In the last 2 minutes of the journey, I hit a van and messed up the front of my car. FML

#3466010
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12995) - you deserved it (35430)

On 07/03/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by neverdrivingagain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was holding a yard sale. A man came up to me and asked if he could buy a pair of red and white sneakers that I'd found in my attic and had never worn. Five bucks later, he was walking away with what I now realize was the pair of shoes signed by Michael Jordan given to me by my uncle. FML

#3455804
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12492) - you deserved it (70536)

On 07/03/2009 at 2:30pm - misc - by capcha (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: