Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

flea_of_death

Search for a member

flea_of_death

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 May 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8819
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About flea_of_death : This thing changes all the time. Okay, as of July 2013, here's my about me! I do enjoy My Little Pony, but I won't shove it in your face. It's just something I like! I'm going to be majoring in pre-vet medicine when I start college this fall, and I will be in the Pride of the Southland Marching Band. Look them up on Youtube, it's worth it. I don't comment often on here, but when I do, I'm normally defending ponies, making a witty comment, or saying something creepy. That's just who I am. =) Feel free to message me, though I don't respond very often due to mostly using the mobile app. Which is why if a comment seems out of place, my phone freaked out. I'm rambling right now because it's 2:30 in the morning as I type this. Have a cookie if you read this far. Have a wonderful day!

flea_of_death's page activity

Visits<b>tegankeen</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 8:58am<b>TYRRELL</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:15pm<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 4:15am<b>curticus</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 8:59am<b>kayana153</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:48am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 2:20am<b>redraven88</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 1:40am<b>tigerfish</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 10:22pm<b>MrWolfy</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 4:53pm<b>EllieMay42</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 2:31pm<b>Sundaynighthater</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 7:47pm<b>byEyecandy</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 11:24am<b>Waredo_Dyrge</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 11:21pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 1:54am<b>sezual</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 6:47am<b>Tari</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 2:44am<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 12:54am<b>UnknownDemon1406</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 12:35am

flea_of_death's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of flea_of_death's badges

flea_of_death's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML

#4097129
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46794) - you deserved it (9031)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML

#4097129
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46794) - you deserved it (9031)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove six hours with a friend to see one of her favorite bands in concert. We were turned away at the door because the online site didn't say we had to be 21 to enter. I drove six hours back with nothing to show for it but an empty gas tank and useless tickets. FML

#4074889
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37802) - you deserved it (8664)

On 07/27/2009 at 5:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that when your gas nozzle does not automatically stop by itself the way its supposed to, they will continue to charge your credit card as the gas overflows out of your tank until someone notices and yells "turn the gas off". FML

#3995707
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14464) - you deserved it (46526)

On 07/24/2009 at 1:01am - misc - by haytia22 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

#3967657
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69340) - you deserved it (4235)

On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my manager came in and said "Hey Alice, great job closing so well last night. NOT." and walked off. When I heard the door shut, I said "And great job being a bitch, you cow." I heard my manager walking back towards me. She wasn't the one who left the room. FML

#3944960
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17324) - you deserved it (42334)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:03am - work - by Alice (woman) - United States

Today, whilst cleaning out his desk, my dad "accidentally" threw away my summer homework. That's 100 pages, over a duration of 2 months. School starts in 3 days. FML

#3923444
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50402) - you deserved it (5741)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:34am - work - by homework (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I was at a friend's party. Her neighbor and I really hit it off. We went off into the woods and left everyone, including her parents, at the bonfire. We started hooking up when my friend ran over. Apparently they could see everything. We had on glow stick necklaces and bracelets. FML

#3905141
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10410) - you deserved it (62832)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by hoho5191 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, during some previews before the new Harry Potter movie, a guy stood up and led the audience in an enthusiastic and rather successful chant "H-A-R-R-Y!". Minutes later when I attempted to do the same thing, I was pelted with half-full bags of popcorn, freezing sodas, and booing. FML

#3897679
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10502) - you deserved it (77090)

On 07/20/2009 at 1:54am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, during some previews before the new Harry Potter movie, a guy stood up and led the audience in an enthusiastic and rather successful chant "H-A-R-R-Y!". Minutes later when I attempted to do the same thing, I was pelted with half-full bags of popcorn, freezing sodas, and booing. FML

#3897679
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10502) - you deserved it (77090)

On 07/20/2009 at 1:54am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, during some previews before the new Harry Potter movie, a guy stood up and led the audience in an enthusiastic and rather successful chant "H-A-R-R-Y!". Minutes later when I attempted to do the same thing, I was pelted with half-full bags of popcorn, freezing sodas, and booing. FML

#3897679
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10502) - you deserved it (77090)

On 07/20/2009 at 1:54am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned that even when you put a sock on the door because you are having sex with your boyfriend, doesn't mean your mom won't walk in your brand new apartment for a "surprise visit." FML

#3838782
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36099) - you deserved it (9380)

On 07/17/2009 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by Alwayshappens2me (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the two and a half hours it took our poorly air conditioned taxi to go 20 miles in stop-and-go traffic was highlighted by our son projectile vomiting all over my wife, a suitcase, and the car. It ended with me having to pay both for the ride, as well as for cleaning the inside of the taxi. FML

#3834940
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35846) - you deserved it (2697)

On 07/17/2009 at 4:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant with my extended family. It was expensive, and when the bill came, I whispered to my brother, "We may need to make this one a Chew and Screw". When the waitress came back to the table, my five year old son decided to ask aloud "What's Chew and Screw?". FML

#3790073
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7237) - you deserved it (58645)

On 07/15/2009 at 11:53pm - kids - by bigdaddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: